WHAT ABOUT TODAY?

Hello friends and welcome to another weekly episode. This week’s episode is founded on this poignant question: HOW ABOUT TODAY?

First, real leadership comes from within. It’s only when we make a deep commitment to personal growth, that we’ll begin to see and feel alignment with the world around us. Secondly, within each of us resides a spirit of aspiration and improvement. We strive for more. We yearn for better. Sometimes…we unleash the hounds, while other times we snaffle any action towards improvement. We take the easy road, and well…we just don’t. 

A friend of mine once said: “When faced with two choices...it may not have to be an all or nothing.” 

All too often we get stuck in the fog of choice. We also know precisely what action must be taken but are hesitant for a mountain of reasons. In the moment of choice, be still, and be grateful for the choice. In any choice, innovation around new horizons not yet discovered might just be the thing that surfaces as you slow down to speed up. 

Fear, as we know, becomes the working derivative of inaction, while mostly unfounded, and often faulty personal biases giving way to a justified stall.

Biologically, the brain is the epicenter of all action and inaction. In the waning days of this interesting and volatile year, there’s an often forgotten fact: we each carry with us, ALL the necessary resources to mentally, emotionally and spiritually lean into the new, and pursue a better self. The gift of choice, so divinely appointed, is ours to honor. 

Whenever we engage in the intentional pursuit of a better tomorrow, it will always be met with a tacit call to action, and an imbalance requirement we may not have anticipated, nor desire, which really brings us full circle. In this dichotomy called creative tension, where new growth happens when we stretch ourselves beyond our present capability by navigating through and enduring the muck, it is then that we find our most fruitful outcomes.

We’ve heard it said before: “Today is the first day of the rest of your life.” Time is the ever waning commodity not yet assigned a market value, because you just can’t buy it. It’s the same daily 24 hour allotment for each person on this planet regardless of title or position in life. It can be given and taken but not transferred. Time can also be a vacuum. Time has no end or beginning, and certainly no certainty. Today, for me, it’s wide open with possibility yet it won’t wait for me. So what do we do with time when we know it’s moving quite a bit faster than we can control? What do we do to somehow prolong the wonderful and shorten the difficult? The answer is: We don’t!

Time remains a gift for the present, and it’s on our shoulders to leverage and utilize when it’s been given us. It’s ours to foster and build a better tomorrow, with a better YOU and I in it. I’ve learned simply that: your efforts are creating your tomorrow. It means that what I do with this moment right now, will either honor or waste the stewardship I’ve been given in this life. Do I define presence in part by an awareness to honor each second?

To wrap it up, one question remains: HOW ABOUT TODAY? How about today?

As you seize the opportunities before you with reverence and zeal, may you find wild success in the tomorrows initiated each day. May you find yourself in momentum, with high energy, as opposed to thumbing it on the roadside when the new year arrives.

Remember that GROWTH is always a choice.

Until next week my friends, make it a great one, and remember to always…HONOR.THE.GIFT.

#howabouttoday #options #bettertomorrowthantoday #last60days #unlocked #todayistheday #itsonyou #ownthechange #leanintogrowth #experiencelivingtrue #egoistheenemy #growth #choice #mindset #highperformancecoaching #getoffthetreadmill #dothework #choosegrowth #wodoto #choiceisthegift #honorthegift #podcast

DOPAMINE HANGOVER

Hello friends and welcome to another weekly episode. This week’s episode scratches the surface on one particular type of dopamine hangover, and one that is challenging society in a big way. 

In episodes past, you’ve heard me talk about the swipe economy and its impact on attention and the deficit therein. I’ll likely revisit a few of those concepts in this episode while also hitting a few new symptoms and side effects. 

When it comes to our ”smart phones,” the scene is something foreign to the past but evolutionary in its own right.  Many of us spend the better parts of our day swiping with minimal immersion, resulting in a non-present, highly active processing pace that we’re not able to keep up with. 

Unfortunately, it’s beginning to be unconscious and habitual. Look around the tables of the next restaurant you are seated at. You’ll see people gathered together, with their heads looking down and their faces lit up. You’ll see individuals in deeply founded relationships reliant upon this crutch to foster the time and space. Fixated at best on something other than the moment. 

I mentioned the word evolutionary earlier on, in describing the scene. Ironically enough, our posture is starting to digress and mimic our neanderthal upbringing. When it comes to our brain however, we are becoming more and more advanced in the way and speed at which we process multiple points of data. 

In a fairly recent study, Microsoft found that since the year 2000 (or about when the mobile revolution began) the average attention span dropped from 12 seconds to eight seconds. 

Good or bad, you decide? 

So what of this hangover I am referring to? The dopamine hangover I reference, is one of the mental fatigue and short circuiting caused by the constancy of short-term engagement in our lives. As a society, we are addicted to our devices. While this statement isn’t intended to be absolute, it is far reaching and evidenced by the visible attachment to digital validation and confirmation. We seek validation in our outreach. We cling to and grasp for more. We check our devices as if they hold the nutrients essential to our existence. When we go without, the crave to re-engage is evasive at best leaving us lonely, agitated, anxious and a physical unrest without its influence. 

We are living detached in an attached world. It’s confusing. It’s felt. It is damaging our existence as a species. It is impacting our contribution in the lives of those we love and serve and more importantly, we are un-substantiating our existence. 

In a moment of recent pause and reflection I’ve also noticed something a bit disheartening. I’ve felt less mentally agile as I once was, noticing that my ability to focus and remain in the moment was waning.  

What I was noticing: 

Truck key fob and lock sound. Did I lock my truck or not?

Going back to the same app I was just on moments ago. 

Ease of the rabbit hole and massive diversion to not remember what I had started to begin with. 

Shorter memory capacity to dictate what I had just heard from a recording. 

What did they just say?

I found myself asking questions of someone that had already engaged with me on the same topic.  

Without a calendar and reminder system with backup reminders in other people, I would not remember.

Who was I letting down? EVERYONE in my life, including myself.  

You’ve heard me discuss the word savor before. 

Savor defined: to taste or enjoy something completely. To appreciate fully. My friend Travis Anderson refers to it as “eating the whole pie.” Robin Sharma recently referenced some of the work by pioneers in the field of positive psychology confirming that “savoring life” is a powerful ritual to boost happiness and performance.

It’s more than being present. It is a full capitulation to the now, with a heightened focus on the flavor and taste of THIS moment, and all it has to offer.   

While we might be able to envision this, and see the power of savoring life and all it has to offer, we are simultaneously witnessing our ability to do this dwindle, right in the palm of our hand. What I am referring to is ATTENTION SPAM. 

I write and record this knowing full well that I have been seduced personally by the rampant and unchecked habit of the “smart” phone. While they provide massive value in our lives, we rely so heavily upon them for decision reminders and sadly an hour by hour, minute by minute, second by second dopamine hit. 

Attention SPAM, what is it? We are living in and participating in a SWIPE ECONOMY of mass proportion. 

Why the word economy, because we actively barter and exchange time and money in this chasm?

We are losing our ability to focus on what matters most. 

James Clear on: The Myth of Multitasking - “Yes, we are capable of doing two things at the same time. It is possible, for example, to watch TV while cooking dinner or to answer an email while talking on the phone. What is impossible, however, is concentrating on two tasks at once. Multitasking forces your brain to switch back and forth very quickly from one task to another. This wouldn't be a big deal if the human brain could transition seamlessly from one job to the next, but it can't. Multitasking forces you to pay a mental price each time you interrupt one task and jump to another. In psychology terms, this mental price is called the switching cost. Switching cost is the disruption in performance that we experience when we switch our attention from one task to another. A 2003 study published in the International Journal of Information Management found that the typical person checks email once every five minutes and that, on average, it takes 64 seconds to resume the previous task after checking your email. In other words, because of email alone, we typically waste one out of every six minutes.” 

With a swipe sometimes happening in mili-seconds, it’s no wonder our brain is fried. 

HOW do we Reduce “Attention Spam?” Let me offer up the following five steps to help rearrange your environment and to create a new ecosystem for change:

1. Learn to solve for distraction - Use the Do Not Disturb Feature

2. Protect your time - Be Intentional - schedule it. Pick your time, pick your day. Schedule owners are high performers. Schedule blocks of dedicated review and post and then schedule blocks without. 

3. Slow down - stop multitasking. Be present. In all spaces and places. Our brain has been conditioned to process everything we pay attention to. Pick a lane and pledge yourself to it. 

4. Honor the people in your life - you started the game but you are not choosing the competitors. A sign of respect or a massive sign of disrespect. Ask for help. Let your plan be known and honor them.

5. Savor every moment -  Be aware. Breathe. Feel. Touch. Listen. Intentionally take it in. Journal it as a back up reinforcement tool as you express gratitude and a reverence for that moment. 

HOW do we reduce the dopamine hangover? As with any habit, we must find a design an environment where replacement strategies can thrive and find root in our lives. We must decide and choose today a new path, recognizing that the pain of the change may outweigh the pain of the present in the short-term. 

So what now? 

"When given new information I change my mind, what do YOU do?" - Jeff Willmore

Let it be known right here and now that I WILL DO BETTER. I MUST. I challenge you to do the same if this resonates and you see an opening for this sort of shift in your own life. I have no doubt that the rewards will far exceed that little dopamine hit we’ve learned to crave and rely on.  

In the end, I guess what I’m saying is when we are together, you and me, I want just that. No distractions. Space to SAVOR all it has to offer.  Hello. My name is Art. I am your brother, friend, and someone who cares deeply for your success. I’m grateful for you. Your value as a human being is infinite. It brings me great joy to be on this journey with you, learning by your side. 

I hope this coming week, finds you more intentional with your time, more disconnected from your smartphone, with more time to truly SAVOR what this life has to offer. There’s music between the notes, if you’ll give yourself the space to listen. 

Dig in. Find that best version of yourself. Live in it. Be that person. 

Be on offense instead of constant defense. 

Check in on folks. Who should you text or call right now? Are you aware and present and keenly interested in take off? 

Remember that GROWTH is always a choice.

Until next week my friends, make it a great one, and remember to always…HONOR.THE.GIFT.

#swipehangover #socialdopamine #digitaldilema #stopmultitasking #savorthemoment #unlocked #todayistheday #itsonyou #ownthechange #leanintogrowth #experiencelivingtrue #egoistheenemy #growth #choice #mindset #highperformancecoaching #getoffthetreadmill #dothework #choosegrowth #wodoto #choiceisthegift #honorthegift #podcast

THE SPACE BETWEEN

Eric Thomas poses the question: “Are you willing to sacrifice who you are for what you want to become?”

While many of us want growth and hope for better outcomes in our lives, this question is a stark reminder of the necessity and reality of change. Just as building stronger muscle requires the destruction of tissue as a catalyst for new growth, so too does our quest for bigger, better, faster, stronger, smarter, etc.

Movement requires action, and the change agent required is the abolishment of old habit in the formation of new.

One such change is the tempering of impulse when triggered. I’ve always said that the space between stimulus and response is a gift. If you can find a way to honor this space before you act, you’ll find hidden strength, once masked by reactivity.

Awareness drives new opportunity. Without a predetermined response and a plan of action for the choice that will come, we often times find it impossible to keep up or even catch that choice point until it has come and gone. It’s then we realize that we had a choice, knew better, but refused to stop mid-path to pause time and allow for an adjusted and more appropriate path forward.

This requires practice. It requires an awareness of self when triggered. It requires a daily commitment to start chipping away at ego’s persona.

Will you allow a pace and space for discovery and stillness, or will you avoid the change all together? We’ll not find perfection here, but we will certainly be given ample practice time in this big game we call LIFE. 

Remember that GROWTH is always a choice.

Until next week my friends, make it a great one, and remember to always…HONOR.THE.GIFT.

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MY WORLD WILL CHANGE TODAY

Hello friends and welcome to another weekly episode. This week’s topic is more of a statement and realization more than anything. MY WORLD WILL CHANGE TODAY.  

I remember seeing a t-shirt once that had the words: THE CRITICAL SLIDE printed on it.  Whether it meant what I took from it or not, it brought clearly to my own mind, the slippery slope of criticism and aimed skepticism.

What I mean by that is simply this: Your own bad attitude will never solve for someone else’s incompetency. It’s an easy path for certain to react or to act out. In fact, often times it’s a reactionary coverup for the familiarities brought on by the procrastinated efforts of personal change. 

Outburst deflection comes in all shapes and sizes. For some, it’s easier to avoid than to act. For others, it’s far too easy to criticize openly in an attempt to assemble a diversionary army for personal avoidance. While it’s easy to find fault in another’s actions or lack there of, it’s far more difficult to identify one’s own opportunity for change. That critical slide, as I’ve defined it here, leads nowhere. It’s an empty path filled with anger and pent-up frustration that will continue to find a dead-end as it destroys every relationship in your life.

The opportunity for growth comes handily with each moment of choice. Choice to act rather than react. Choice to build rather than destroy. Choice to own the impact possible, rather than flee from the influence we seek. All choices we’ll each face, and ones that have the power to shape our world.

Why then, if we realize the choices in front of us can have a lasting and positive impact, do we persist with old habits and taking a road already taken? 

As we study some of the cognitive strategies around avoidance and deflection, we find that the common models we are accustomed to that protect us, are derived in fast thinking and not necessarily reflected upon intentionally. In the space of personal change, we operate way too fast. Recognize that the work of change and progression is messy. It is slow. It is volatile. It can have significant costs and barriers. 

Erich Bühler said, on the persistence of old mental models: “We generally stick to old mental models until new ways of thinking appear. During the change process, however, we tend to see the new only through the old lens. When the first motorized vehicles were built in the nineteenth century, cars looked more like carriages than automobiles. This was because people imagined them as an extension of horse-drawn transport. New ideas, concepts, and words were introduced, but old ways of thinking continued to be used to analyze and solve problems.”  

So how does this tie in to the evolutionary change of each day? Each of us will enter our day in one of three ways: reactionary, complacent, or intentional. Each day will happen to us and for us. We will exist in it, whether we plan to or not. It will pass by us or through us. Knowing that doesn’t change anything really. The world will be changed as a result of how we show up each day. Our own world will shift as well. Forwards or sideways for even what seems backwards at times, it will see an impact by and through our presence in it. Under this premise, how then will we show up?   

A friend and colleague said recently in describing the dichotomy of inspiration and subsequent action: “Inspiration without integrity doesn’t buy much.” - Richard Condon. What Richard was teaching us, in short, is just because you feel a change is necessary or that you feel and want to do things differently and have a larger impact, it doesn’t translate into anything unless you are willing to hav the integrity of action taken in the pursuit of better.

If you want to make a mark in your life and in the lives of those who count on you through your legacy, let this thought sink in: No one remembers easy! 

Own your actions and attitude. Let it reflect the change you seek in the world as opposed to a pessimistic view of reality and the easy detour away from the change you seek.  
Enter each day with the acknowledgement that in deed, your world will change. Will you be there for it? 

Remember that GROWTH is always a choice.

Until next week my friends, make it a great one, and remember to always…HONOR.THE.GIFT.

#todaymyworldwillchange #create #unlocked #todayistheday #itsonyou #ownthechange #leanintogrowth #experiencelivingtrue #egoistheenemy #growth #choice #mindset #highperformancecoaching #getoffthetreadmill #dothework #choosegrowth #wodoto #choiceisthegift #honorthegift

COURAGE

Hello friends and welcome to another weekly episode. This week’s topic is COURAGE. 

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about COURAGE. I’ve considered how it shows up in my life, when it does and doesn’t, and more importantly, how might I continue to develop more of it?

Where does courage come from? Courage doesn’t come from Google, but I’ll look there regardless. 

A quick GOOGLE search would suggest the following - “The root of the word courage is cor - the Latin word for heart. In one of its earliest forms, the word courage meant "To speak one's mind by telling all one's heart." Over time, this definition has changed, and today, we typically associate courage with heroic and brave deeds.”

So…how do we start to gain more courage in our lives, not just in times or great trial but also in the day-to-day?

My personal belief is that the greatest act of courage for each one of us, is when we exercise the COURAGE TO LIVE TRUE.

The dichotomy of courage exists where external influences (love and trust) might strengthen one’s ability to go into the danger, while at the same time the movement comes from an internal commitment to take risk in spite of the fear and repercussions of those external to us, even those we…(love and trust.) That personal choice to go forward, in spite of the danger, is profoundly responsible for the providence we seek in our lives. I believe that lasting courage must come from within and practiced to sustain those lonely moments when we face the very personal and sacred opportunity of growth.

But what happens when the FEAR is so great that we stall and vacillate in CHOICE?

Brendon Burchard said of FEAR - “Outside of fears for physical health in dangerous situations, what we most often fear are three things. First, we fear LOSS PAIN – that by changing or advancing in our lives we will lose something important to us. Second, we fear PROCESS PAIN – that the mere act or process of changing will be too hard for us. Third, we fear OUTCOME PAIN – that all the effort we put into changing may not lead to a better outcome in our lives, that the “grass might not be greener.”

Let me suggest 5 primers as you work to develop more COURAGE in your life: 

1. Identify and reflect on a time in your life where you felt most courageous. What was unique about it? 

2. Are there areas in your life right now you know you could be stepping up?

3. Is there anyone in your life you feel you should be more honest with than you have been?

4. If you had more courage today, what would you stop doing right now?

5. If you had more courage today, what would you start doing?

When it comes to the important relationships in our lives, there are people that want to hear what’s really on our mind, what needs we might have, and more importantly what the ambitions of our heart might be? There are incredible people standing by, waiting to cheer us on.  

By not sharing these things, what might it be costing you? As you recognize and feel that indeed there is a cost, who will you courageously engage in the next five days with the things you have been holding back from them?

If you seek more confidence; If you seek more consistency; If you seek more congruency in your life; I promise that it all lies on the other side of bold action, derived in COURAGE, and on the other side of that single courageous step forward!

I believe in these courageous moments, we come HOME : the wonders of life are met with peace and assurance of long held perspectives tangled with the new. Warm and enveloping yet cool and crisp awakening. It keeps you and sets you free. More music if felt between the notes than chords played. There’s a silence. A quiet and soft hand laid upon your cheek saying hello and a searing gaze and smile that pierces the soul. It’s living yet so engrained and historic. Walking and feeling everything flow through you. It’s a living and breathing moment that captures and releases the soul. Everything stashed becomes a new treasure to behold. It’s familiar. It’s a splendid reunion. It’s a soul filled adventure. A world built for you. HOME. 

This is the opportunity, found only, in the COURAGE required for living true. 

Remember that GROWTH is always a choice.

WODOTO

This week’s topic is WODOTO. What the what? What is that word and what does it mean? Well, its an acronym for a concept I was taught by two of my dear friends, Alan and Noall. WODOTO stands for: Watch one. Do one. Teach one. This is not a new concept, but it is one that has become much more meaningful for me as a leader at home and in the communities and organizations I serve. 

Watch one. Do one. Teach one is a concept developed to help you translate receipt to service. It is a formula for growth. It is a system of replication and expansion.    

On Fatherhood: the calling and stewardship starts from day one. Will you own it or neglect to or wait for opportunities. Example… (Rylyn this past weekend)

On Business: the calling and stewardship starts from day one. Will you own it or neglect to or wait for opportunities. Example… (Coaching others to engage in the human dynamic and to find a level of organizational maturity that fosters growth and collaboration.)

On Mentorship: the calling and stewardship starts from day one. Will you own it or neglect to or wait for opportunities. Example… (the question from two unassuming college students, What are three pieces of advice you would give us as we start our lives together and career?) 

Will we be ready when the opportunity presents itself or will we be so self absorbed that we will miss or blatantly avoid the responsibility of presence? 

Our ego will get in the way in a number of ways if we allow it to: 

1. What do I even have to offer?

2. What if I lead them astray?

3. I am not an expert, so I shouldn’t put myself out there. 

4. What if they take what I teach them and they surpass me?

5. What if they take what I teach them and they become my competitor?

6. What if they aren’t willing to learn?

7. What if I fail?

We could make a long list of the reasons not to learn, try, and to avoid teaching. All of which are self serving in the grandest sense. All will stop progression on both sides of the coin and will not further develop others. When we fail to pass the gift along, we fail the gift. You see, the gift was never ours to keep, it was ours to learn from and to help others develop along side us. 

We each come to this world at different times. Our legacy is up for grabs. Do we have a clear vision for what can be, or better yet, what we and others can become at our best? Are we intentional about our stewardship and do we look for the lessons…which requires a level of openness…to then designate time and resource to developing others with the gifts we have been given? 

In Lin-Manuel Miranda’s broadway spectacular Hamilton, the song Dear Theodosia found in Act 1, is a great example of the vision and relational awareness stewardship calls for. The setting is the parallel private reflection of two foes preparing for a duel against one another, reflecting on their own legacy and silently sending their last message of hope and direction to each of their treasured posterity. You’ll hear of a commitment to not make the mistakes of former generations and to give their very best to the upcoming generation, their own children, as they visioneer  growth and substantive work from the gifts they leave behind. If you haven’t had a chance to listen to it yet, do so. It is a brilliant and heartfelt piece. I also believe it is a tremendous example of how someone uses their art and gifts to share and teach perspective and lessons learned. 

It took me a long time in my own life to get beyond the take and to recognize that impact and influence are of an opportunity to serve and to build a better tomorrow, both in myself and in others as I share inspired lessons and insights with others along the way. As some of us age or experience progress and success, be cautious not to become hardened and protective, let us continue to embrace the sandbox scene of earlier years where our interest was simply sharing and building. 

Much of the genesis behind this podcast and the book I am writing, is for that very reason. It is a way for me to honor the gifts I have been given by passing along the lessons learned in hopes that they will take root and have an impact in someone else’s life as they have in mine. 

When it comes to serving others, instead of asking yourself what can I get, try engaging in the dialogue and associated actions of asking “what can I give?”

See in others what they might not see in themselves and give them of your substance, so they too might benefit from the lessons you’ve learned along the way. Build. Don’t take. 

So I guess the challenge to each of us today is simply  - Watch one. Do one. Teach one. Give it away. Give of your gain if it can help another progress. The opportunities are abundant. Someone else’s growth does not need to be stunted as a result of our own personal insecurities. 

Remember that GROWTH is always a choice.

Until next week my friends, make it a great one, and remember to always…HONOR.THE.GIFT.

#wodoto #giveitaway #hamilton #unlocked #todayistheday #followthesavior #walkinhisfootsteps #itsonyou #ownthechange #leanintogrowth #experiencelivingtrue #egoistheenemy #growth #choice #mindset #highperformancecoaching #getoffthetreadmill #dothework #choosegrowth #wodoto #choiceisthegift #honorthegift

STORIES

Hello friends and welcome to another weekly episode. This week’s topic is STORIES. We’ve heard it said in recent years that we are in the age of the story teller. When we expand that thinking and turn to the books on the shelf, we will find: the story we are writing; our own personal story,  the stories we tell ourselves and the stories we are listening to. With all of the available options and limited time, which story will have the biggest impact in our lives? 

Story originates from a desire to pronounce, recall, or magnify an emotion or state of being. Story can be used as entertainment, argument, or a method for internal solidification. 

Let me first touch on the stories we spend most of our time with and that I would classify as external stories. The easy ones to identify is the stories we are listening to. All around us are other people’s opinions and interpretation of circumstance. People will go to great lengths to convince someone else of their realities. We see it at work around the water cooler: complaints and rumors about others, celebrations and the evolving details of relationships and the externalities others want you to focus on. We see it in the media both social and traditional. Opinions, expressions of interest, siding for a cause or siding to fit in, expressions of a life well lived even as a cover up at times to be seen as something different than reality. The media preys on the easily influenced with salacious headlines meant to stir and position as a justification for ongoing existence. Don’t get me wrong, I also believe you’ll find fair and humble representations of lives being well lived in both case as well. What I would like to draw attention to however, is that in the case of external stories, they are just that: external. These stories are happening around us, speedily passing us by and even staying a while when we catch one and hold onto it. They give us relief and often a place for us to sink opinion or attach a need to be noticed or fit in. They can be triggers for us to engage our fast thinking mechanism as an easy route to false identity. The time and energy we spend on external stories, while attractive and engaging, will only leave us confused and unsettled as we continue to turn the page. Quick consumption and quick opinion, laden with short term and often self serving needs to be noticed, these external stories are not ours, but rather borrowed and plagiarized.

On the internal story, quite possibly the grandest story we will ever encounter, is the one we are writing and not reading. It is the story afforded to us as a blank set of pages and the pen of choice. We write stories each day. Most of these stories stem from a thought or belief, or need for justification of a current assessment of an external emotion or stimulus. We see something and then make a quick judgment and assertion of meaning. If we continue to hold the pen, we decided how long we will stay with the thought or whether we will cast it aside and pick up a new line of thinking. The Arbinger Institute does a great job of defining the cycle of self deception and the power it has to create realties in our lives. On the flip side, we’ve also learned of the power of our mind when we focus our energy and consumption on the reality we seek or argue for. 

With this in mind, if the story you are writing is not yours, and is not serving you and what you know to be your truth, set that book back on the shelf and pick up the one with the blank pages that you need to write. We have each been given a few blank pages in this life, and we’ve always had the pen. Write it and make it one that lights you up. You can write the very best story if you will keep it intentional and on your own paper. Start small (get in the weeds and minute details rather than being so broad and vague) with the intentional details of your story and then as you cement the strong habits of identity, then start to branch out in scope, depth and contribution. 

A couple of thoughts on story telling, confirmation bias, and the characters we cling to from the petty books on the shelf:

“Most people seek to confirm their own bias. Rather than getting the facts or facing the truth, people prefer to justify their own mediocrity.” - Benjamin Hardy, PhD

+

“The most successful people, on the other hand, act as scientists toward life. They want the truth. They want data. Rather than seeking to confirm their bias, they are continually seeking to disrupt and disconfirm their bias.” - Benjamin Hardy, PhD

“We seek personal growth to be free from the pain we cause ourselves, to make better choices, to feel better about who we are becoming, to act more confidently in social situations, and to unleash our full creativity and contributions into the world in order to make our highest difference.” - Brendon Burchard

“The old character you’re playing is the very thing that will prevent you from becoming this new version of you. You can’t take the old story into the new identity.” - Ed Mylett

In closing let me make two statements: 

Breakthroughs happen for those willing to give up security for significance. - goa

and...

At the end of one’s life, a finished transcript will always outweigh a story started, but never fully written.” - goa

Remember that growth is always a choice.

Until next week my friends, make it a great one, and remember to always...HONOR.THE.GIFT.

#stories #itsyourstory #writeagoodone #bealight #yourbestself #intentionality #UNLOCKED #todayistheday #itsonyou #ownthechange #leanintogrowth #experiencelivingtrue #egoistheenemy #growth #choice #mindset #highperformancecoaching #getoffthetreadmill #dothework #choosegrowth #wodoto #choiceisthegift #honorthegift

LEGACY

Life has a funny way of serving up opportunities for inquisition and outreach. The concept of growth implies a certain level of movement and humility around the unknown or perceived change.

In her book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, Carol Dweck explains that while a “fixed mindset” assumes that our character, intelligence, and creative ability are static givens which we can’t change in any meaningful way, a growth mindset thrives on challenge and sees failure “not as evidence of unintelligence but as a heartening springboard for growth and for stretching our existing abilities.”

With that, I welcome you to LIFE, for it is the grand classroom of personal discovery and transformation. Even as moments of perceived failure or disengagement awaken us, so do the moments of non-growth. Movement into the new or the avoidance of, can carry uncertainty and fear.

Do you have a bias for growth? If not, your bias for stagnancy can and will continue to produce a non-variable outcome of discontent and disbelief.

For those lessons learned or shared with us from another’s life well earned, I am drawn to the story and account of the events surrounding the last supper. 

During his last formal gathering and meal with his apostles, Christ prepared a sacrament, symbolic of his life and soon to be blood sacrifice that would ultimately seal his mortal death. Even in the midst of known betrayal and a concourse of opposition mounting, he dignified his existence by the way he treated those closest to him and a life well served in honor to the Father. 

His pleading and humble request was that they remember Him. That they fix in their minds the way of the Good Shepherd. That not only they remember him but that they learn of him and model his way of being, to perpetuate the growth and opportunity of service this life affords. He understood LEGACY from a pre-mortal existence to a mortal test and ultimate sacrifice on our behalf. He showed us the way.  

So too, in our own lives, we have those who will go before us and advocate on our behalf. We have parents, siblings, grandparents, and many other significant influences in our lives that help model the way. For some we share a name sake and for others we are actively creating a name for our posterity to carry on and make better. 

Recently my sweetheart shared with our family her thoughts on legacy and the call to each of us to honor the names we bear. Her immediate challenge to each of us, was to look today at the opportunity to stand tall and to own and honor our good name(s). 

I speak often of the gifts we have and the challenge to honor those gifts. For many of us, we have had some sort of generational influence and impact in our lives. I remember clearly my grandfather’s funeral, and how poignant each persons reflection was of him and the impact he had for good in their lives. What was shared was consistent across the board. He loved his Savior and he talked often of the redemption and opportunity to truly live with courage and honor each day. It was one of the few times I truly felt the power of what it means to live true. 

As I’ve learned to acknowledge and embrace my constant imperfections, and learned to view challenges as opportunities, my life has become rich with an open road of discovery and understanding for others, and a deep love and respect for the journey. 

Life is in session. Welcome to the classroom. For those who are embarking on this journey into the unknown, I commend you and run along side you, cheering you on.  As well, I thank you for the courage to also set pace for those watching, for we all can improve and grow through your example.

Remember that growth is always a choice.

Until next week my friends, make it a great one, and remember to always...HONOR.THE.GIFT.

#legacy #alwaysremember #bealight #yourbestself #intentionality #UNLOCKED #todayistheday #itsonyou #ownthechange #leanintogrowth #experiencelivingtrue #egoistheenemy #growth #choice #mindset #highperformancecoaching #getoffthetreadmill #dothework #choosegrowth #wodoto #choiceisthegift #honorthegift

ACT or REACT?

ACT : the opposite of react. Action comes from a place of confidence and conviction, unfettered from the winds and drift found in reactivity. Negativity begets negativity. Positivity begets positivity. Learn to govern your emotions to pause the reactivity that can come with a closely tied emotional response. I remember that my mom would always challenge me to count to 10.  Who does your reaction serve? Are you future focussed and confident in your own game and level of performance you are seeking. The winds will blow you every which way if not, and you’ll find yourself in a constant state of turmoil and non-satisfaction. Reactivity tends to be a shortcut, that doesn’t require much thinking on our part. It taps into assessments of the past and predicts a future unattached to our own contribution.  

In science, reactivity is a measure of how readily a substance undergoes a chemical reaction. When it comes to human behavior, to be reactive is to be ready to react or respond to something else, as opposed to ready to act on one's own. A person who's reactive, will do things ONLY in response to others. 

What this tells me, is that those of us who have a tendency to react more quickly than others are probably the most in need of some pre-planning and intentionality around who we are, and how we want to show up in our own game of life. Here’s the harsh reality behind the psychology of reactivity. You’ll want to really hear this and soak in it a bit. Reactivity refers to the human tendency to change their behavior when they know that they are being watched. This is a part of the normal human desire to be perceived in the best possible light, and not be judged in a negative way.

Be intentional, and practice THE PAUSE as we have talked about before. Are you fully aware of your emotional response and triggers? When we have a tendency for reaction, we are typically the target for easy manipulation. 

Your best, requires a high level of consistency and commitment to your standards and way of being. Are you front loading? Specifically how are you preparing for those times when your emotional response paired with a reaction might set you back in your journey forward. 

I recently had the chance to sit down with my daughter Kensley. We weren’t on the same page and definitely had alternate and diverse perspectives of what was and each other’s way of being. When tempers and emotions calmed down, I asked a simple question, that was met with another dose of justification for the reaction, which gave us a moment to slow down and to truly dive into an opportunity for intentionality. I asked her this: How do you want others to experience you? When she carefully thought it through in a moment and clear space of non-reactivity, she simply stated that she wanted others to experience love. 

If we want others to experience something specific, it requires a high level of intentionality and purpose. It requires that we set the need to be seen through a funnel of quick reaction by the wayside. It means that we better get crystal clear with ourselves about how we go about CREATING and aligned experience for those around us. 

I AM ____________! How often do we consciously and un-consciously fill in that blank with both greater than or less than, ego driven statements? The quick labeling of self in ANY context provides a mental servitude to that label. The act of being when left unassigned for someone to hear and take notice, has lasting and certainly superficial diversion.

This is going deep. This is opening yourself to a way of being, rather than a desire to be noticed. For in that moment when tongue begins to connect with desire of visibility or assigned meaning,  DO NOT FILL IN THE BLANK. Avoid it as best you can. If not, It will knock you off the path to becoming your best self. 

The better approach and statement of self comes in the form of a question:

AM I ______________?

Am I willing to assess without public notice or collusion to justify one’s being? Am I willing to become, without reward and validation from others? Am I willing to divorce myself of ego and define myself by actions more closely aligned with what I want others to experience? Am I willing to LIVE TRUE?

These are the tough questions of self awareness and a weapon against the reactivity of a stagnant existence. 

For each of us…IT’S TIME TO ACT. It is time to be creative in our design and clear in our objectives. 

Remember that growth is always a choice.

Until next week my friends, make it a great one, and remember to always...HONOR.THE.GIFT.

#act #itsnotaboutyou #stopreacting #yourbestself #intentionality #become #UNLOCKED #todayistheday #itsonyou #ownthechange #leanintogrowth #experiencelivingtrue #egoistheenemy #growth #choice #mindset #highperformancecoaching #getoffthetreadmill #dothework #choosegrowth #wodoto #choiceisthegift #honorthegift

LET IT GO

In The Daily Stoic, by @ryanholiday , Ryan shares this profound insight from Epictetus: “The beautiful and good person neither fights with anyone nor, as much as they are able, permits others to fight...this is the meaning of getting an education - learning what is your own affair and what is not. If a person carries themselves so, where is there any room for fighting?” - Epictetus, Discourses, 4.5.1; 7b-8a

It challenges us to let go of the petulant stranglehold we have on BE RIGHT, by pursuing and cultivating our own affairs.

According to Dr. Stephen Karpman, at the very root of all drama,  there exists three primary characters: victim, rescuer and persecutor. One cannot exist without the other. In fact each bids and actively pursues planted roots in each. In this case, I’ll refer to the “be right”role and characterization of the persecutor. Their need to be right and to be seen above another is a role well played. The persecutor looks for very little opportunity for another person to rise above, or to shine bright in contrast to their own persona. In fact, they will actively seek out moments where their superiority can be displayed ands dominion over another can be had. 

Seems like more and more these days we find the option for “be right” in play as a choice, and sometimes tasty option in navigating the human dynamic. It’s an easy path and one that doesn’t require much thought or innovation. Restraint, it asks for none, and for someone with the need for visibility, it is a savory tool. 

Time wasted and significance cast by the wayside. You see, there’s really little time for this sort of non-sense. If we understand the potential impact and influence we have as human beings on one another, we should find very little time to self serve in a war of wit and words. I have been a time waster, and a non-foster for others when I have fallen into this trap. It’s an easy one to lose sight in and certainly has a whipsaw ego opportunity to it as well. 

The older I get, the more I realize that life is full of vibrancy. The reverence I feel for other’s struggles, and their path, is a reminder to me of the thinly veiled connection we each have with one another. Differences subside. Hope and gratitude surface. Cheering rather than chiding provides a more lasting providence.

When we are free to focus forward, a simple yet profound call to action might be to STOP WAITING FOR PERMISSION to do the things that bring you joy!

Joy is the fruit of abundant service. Joy supplants victimhood and persecution. Joy is the deep emotion felt as when our desire for happiness aligns our heart, mind and body in service to a common good.

Drama doesn’t have to be an option. “Be right” is a choice. Learning to LET IT GO, is a practice. 

Remember that growth is always a choice.

Until next week my friends, make it a great one, and remember to always...HONOR.THE.GIFT.

#nomoredrama #letitgo #dailypractice #yourbestself #intentionality #become #UNLOCKED #todayistheday #itsonyou #ownthechange #leanintogrowth #experiencelivingtrue #egoistheenemy #growth #choice #mindset #highperformancecoaching #getoffthetreadmill #dothework #choosegrowth #wodoto #choiceisthegift #honorthegift

FOCUS

Have you ever wondered why after you buy the new car in  color you choose and immediately after you drive off the lot you see your exact same car in the exact color more frequently? Well, there is a scientific explanation for this and it has to do with a little tiny system called your R.A.S. This stands for your reticular activating system. It is found at the base of your brain. Its primary function is to act as a conscious filter of information. Here’s the kicker though…it filters and processes information based on what you’ve practiced and repetitively played out as the most important information. Without getting too geeky, it works to project a reality that in deed you have trained it to project.

Earlier this week I had the chance to spend what I would consider critical coaching time with two people I care for deeply. Both had become so wrapped up in their own realities and thought processes that their view of their world was fixated, absolute, diminished and less hopeful. As we worked to explore the relationship between what we spend our time trying to convince our brain of and how it then translates into a constructed reality, it was evident that a more productive pathway, including one that could bring more happiness, more confidence and a better basis for the future to be built upon, was possible. 

The brain is a powerful weapon for either creation or destruction. Brendon Burchard said once that “that what we apply hate to quickly dies.” 

Quite literally, what we choose to see, say, and think about, will scientifically create a farce filter of truth based on what we practice. 

With that I leave you with this thought: “That what you focus on becomes your reality!”

Be careful of the language you use, the stories you tell, and the amount of time and energy you spend trying to control the uncontrollables by focussing on everything that is wrong in your world with those around you. 

If this is something you struggle with, I would challenge you to be absolutely INTENTIONAL this coming week. Pay careful attention to your view of yourself and the world around you. Listen to the language you use.  Pay attention to the labels of circumstance you choose; The I AM’s and THEY ARE’s. The can’ts and won’ts and nevers. Let your future be shaped by the possibilities of a better self. It will take practice, but you come well equipped with a tool that is perfectly designed to get you the results you want if you will feed it with better information. Quite literally, you can shape your view of the world by focussing your thoughts and words on the opposite of what you have been. One step in that direction begins with gratitude. As you seek for and focus on even the smallest things and begin to verbalize and construct working terms around those thoughts, feeling and emotions, you will begin to change your view of the world around you. 

The big question: WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO NOW?

If this has impacted you, share it. If it can be of help to someone you care about, share it. As I have shared before, I believe the greatest gift in our mortal lives is the gift of choice; how we honor that gift will shape the eternities. May we each honor.the.gift. 

Until next week my friends, make it a great one.  

TRUE LEADERSHIP

Those of you that know me, know that I am a studier of leadership and the human dynamic. My personal definition of LEADERSHIP is simply having impact and influence. 

It occurred to me recently, and came as clear as a bell, that TRUE LEADERSHIP begins the day others stop following you. Let me repeat that statement: TRUE LEADERSHIP begins the day others stop following you. 

It’s easy to lead others when they tangentially follow, or are busy enough in their own reality and contribution. When those you lead no longer have an interest in following you, or become hypocritical of your very presence, that is when the true test of leadership is administered. It will rock you to the core and often comes late in the game as it has been camouflaged behind a deeply seeded ego and positional arrogance, veiling the harsh reality that there is significant work to be done if you are to rebuild the trust and rapport needed to truly have a lasting impact in the lives of those you serve. 

So what do we do with this? 

Last week we talked about the necessity of candid feedback, that last 10%, and the humility required of one willing to adjust their sail to become more effective in the service of those in their care. What if that candid feedback entrusted in your care says that you are controlling, confusing, unclear, disconnected, untrusting, not committed to the result and even a bully at times, full of self serving ego. What if this feedback hits you square in the jaw and knocks you to the mat? What if this moment, without even asking, reveals to you that you are doing more damage than good and that ultimately your leadership stinks? 

Welcome to the classroom called life!

You’ll find that a good leader takes you for who you are, understands clearly where you can go, and then helps facilitate your journey towards your highest potential. In his book titled “12 Rules for Life,” Jordan Peterson explains that “It is the greatest temptation of rational faculty to glorify its own capacity and its own productions, and to claim that in the face of its theories nothing transcendent or outside its domain need exist. This means that all important facts have been discovered. This means that nothing important remains unknown. But most importantly, it means denial of the necessity for courageous individual confrontation with being.”

He goes on by posing the question: “What is going to save you? The totalitarian says in essence, you must rely on faith in what you already know, but that is not what saves. What saves, is the willingness to learn from what you don’t know. That is faith in the possibility of human transformation. That is faith in the sacrifice of current self, for the self that could be.”

I believe we do this by taking thought for the future and of the path ahead, by owning the decisions of the present. I believe that if we humbly deny our own ego, that our mind will be enriched and that we will be thoughtfully administered to by the spirit. When we move into the unknown with our best efforts, it’s those moments that growth comes more readily and new insights become illuminated.

In closing, I’d like to share one of my favorite quotes from Simon Sinek: “Leadership is not about being in charge. Leadership is about taking care of those in your charge.

LEADERSHIP is not about you. Leadership is fundamentally designed and annotated to be the act of serving another in their journey to live into their divine potential.  

If you find yourself on the other side of the reflection pool, staring at your own image, seeing clearly the opportunity to dig in and truly honor the impact and influence you have on others, go all in. The promise of leadership is that it will test you every day. Their is no reward, as leadership can’t ever be about you. Your life however will be greatly enriched as you see others lean into their own levels of contribution and service to others. Remember that TRUE LEADERSHIP begins the day others stop following you. When you get there, and you will, don’t run, let the work commence. Your people are your people. Lead them. 

Until next week my friends, make it a great one, and remember to always...HONOR.THE.GIFT.

CRITICISM

CRITICISM. Even the word conjures up an emotion and apprehensive nature. Criticism is often associated with delivering an unfavorable assessment of someone else’s effort. When the table is turned and we are the receiver of criticism, it can really elicit a reactive response and trick us into reinforcement habits. This journey we call life is full of opportunity for growth as we know. Some times these moments of growth however are not as apparent as we would hope, and more often clouded by our own ego or simply conformational bias that clouds our ability to see an opportunity for change. 

On giving criticism, there are times we might be called upon to deliver a grounded assessment of another’s behavior or way of being that might be showing up counter to what is expected or intended. These situations are often difficult and have the potential to be handled recklessly and received by the one being criticized in a potentially confronting way. As a caution, sometimes we can become so jaded that criticism of others becomes our own way of being, and thus draws us deep into drama, becoming an expert persecutor, victim and rescuer on the fly. 

Being the receiver of less than favorable news or observation can really mess with your head. Sometimes these criticisms come during times where we fully believe we are at our best. Remember that it is never easy for someone who cares deeply for you and your success, to give you the tough stuff. How can we become a glad receiver of key detail to help us become better? Are we capable of releasing our own self interest and attached ego, by continuing to shed the shell protecting us from new growth? Who do you NEED to hear these things from? A colleague, trusted mentor, spouse, one of your children? Will you run from or intentionally lean into this opportunity?

I would challenge you to evaluate where this type of dialogue and vesting in your own growth can become an ongoing and vital part of your own growth journey. 

I can promise you from first hand experience that this is difficult, but when received in humility and from a place of love and respect for the one giving you their best in an earnest effort to help you see, feel and hear the bell toll, it has the power to transform your relationships and partnership with those people in your life who matter most. 

In closing, I’d like to share the quote I shared a few moments ago: “Don't mind criticism. If it is untrue, disregard it. If it is unfair, keep from irritation. If it is ignorant, smile. If it is justified, learn from it.” - Anonymous

CRITICISM doesn’t have to be a pinch point in your life. I invite you to engage in the sometimes difficult, yet pivotal conversations. 

Remember that growth is always a choice.

Until next week my friends, make it a great one, and remember to always...HONOR.THE.GIFT.

(IN) DIFFERENCE

Definition: Absence of compulsion to or toward one thing or another. 

Synonyms: apathy, casualness, complacence, disinterestedness, disregard, incuriosity.

Antonyms: concern, interest, regard.

Let us acknowledge that there is in deed difference, but let us not be indifferent. Different is unique. Different is what allows us collective contribution greater than the individual. Difference is what makes us human and perfectly imperfect. Different is what gives us an abundance of opportunity to learn to love and serve one another in the melding of this human race.  

Each of us has a story. We all come to this earth naked. Our experiences shape us. Growth is the path. Living true is expensive and uncomfortable for certain. A world in unrest and laden with individuals begging to be noticed. The moments that call for peace and patience are all around us. We can do better. We know better. Listening to our fears and not choosing to see and have faith in humanity. We defer to absolutes and engage in casting out. We cannot follow the natural choice of pride and envy. Power comes from growth and doing the unnatural. 

How do we deal with others IN affliction? How we answer and respond to that single question will define who we are and what our contribution will be to this world. 

Race, Religion, Color, Sex, Sexual Preference, nor Status in Life give any of us an exemption or right, greater than that of another human being. Not enough. More than. The conversation of equality comes rapidly on the heels of that identified gap, but need not. 

While it is evident that consequence is pardoned in some cases, while being abruptly disallowed in others, it does not provide a platitude for indifference and opportunistic abuse of a moment.  

You/Me, WE… are better than no one. We are brothers and sisters placed here to take care of one another. Why do we forget this so easily?

ANTI - entitlement, ego, hate, judgement, arrogance, attitude, selfishness, neglect, abuse of power, abuse of influence, etc. Our choices on how to act or react are what define our character, not any of these other labels or unique identifiers.  

What do I KNOW to be true that ISN’T? Am I willing to explore my own biases and fascist approach to life? Am I willing to give of my substance without any ire?

We are unique, yet we are part of a greater whole. Be careful not to get caught on the sidelines, indifferent to defining humanity in its highest form. 

Media plays a game of salacious positioning to further create and feed into fear, anger and indifference. The media in some domains, will err on showcasing the worst in humanity as an agenda to divide, rather than unify. Be careful with this and don’t be a sheep that follows the crook and invitation of the enmeshed adversary. Think for yourself. Become educated through genuine questions and even more thoughtful exchanges face-to-face with those who will be honest with you. Use this exercise to develop a strong vision for our collective future and your individual role in it. 

While this message may feel like I’ve stepped onto a soap box, it’s simply a message and hope that my thoughts might spur some additional reflection and thus new action in myself and anyone who might be tuning in.  There are opportunities that exist for each one of us, in our own differences and imperfections, to truly contribute in our own unique way as we learn to better love and serve one another.  

COVID had us all cooped up and ready to be in communion with others and to touch and feel humanity, not separation. Don’t let this time we’ve had to reflect on things that will matter more, coming out of this, be bastardized by rage and anger and further separation. Get to know people. Embrace one another. Look into the eyes of someone you perceive less fortunate, with an honest effort to get to know and understand that difference and distance does not have to exist.   

I guess being in this moment and really trying to think slower, I have more questions of myself and how I am showing up. I am having more questions around my own way of being and how it can be one of kindness and compassion?

Emotions and outbursts can sometimes be a cover or diversion from something else, while other times the outburst can be a foul play in an even bigger diversion from the truth as an avoidance tactic. 

As a society we must learn to stop avoiding hard work, to stop marginalizing misfortune or justifying the gap of hardship. 

Challenge to pause, to see, and to cast zero judgement. Avoid the hesitation to serve and love, by seeing active in your pursuit of the opportunity. 

Mahatma Ghandi taught that we must BE THE CHANGE WE WISH TO SEE IN THE WORLD! I believe this wholeheartedly. I know without a doubt that growth is available to all of us.  

There have been significant injustices in the world and even in our own homes from our haphazard tongues and careless hands. 

STOP! Pause. Rewind the scene and write a new story. 

Sunday - Monday! Will the lessons and intentions of today actually make it into our tomorrows? Will we consciously and intentionally choose to be better for the world?

Today there’s been a feeling of turmoil and restlessness, yet I feel at peace because of the first hand knowledge I have of humanity in its best form. There is a great work that lies ahead of us, and my faith remains in the difference we can make in this world as a collective. 

Elle Wiesel, the Romanian-born American writer, professor, political activist, Nobel laureate, and Holocaust survivor said that “it’s not hatred that kills people, it’s indifference.”   

Some of the greatest tragedies in history could have been prevented. There are tragedies in our future, yet to be written, that can be prevented, if we have the courage to lay down our fears and selfish desires, by choosing to love without bounds.

Our conditioned and learned reactions to “different” have got to be examined, and new habits must emerge. 

Remember that growth is always a choice.

Until next week my friends, make it a great one, and remember to always...HONOR.THE.GIFT.

#love #serve #remember #bethechange #wecandobetter #liveindifference #dailyprcatice #yourbestself #intentionality #become #UNLOCKED #todayistheday #itsonyou #ownthechange #leanintogrowth #experiencelivingtrue #egoistheenemy #growth #choice #mindset #highperformancecoaching #getoffthetreadmill #dothework #choosegrowth #wodoto #choiceisthegift #honorthegift

THE ART OF THE PAUSE

In a world that seems to be moving a hyper-speed, the art of the pause has become complicated. Pardon me for going to sports analogy for a moment, but I want to call specific attention to one of the greatest golfers fo all time, Tiger Woods, not for his life on and off the course, but for his unique ability to stop a swing before he makes contact. If you have ever played golf, you know how difficult this is. Commentators and experts alike call this move nearly impossible and something that requires a tremendous amount of strength. The backswing starts and then suddenly something doesn’t seem right, look right, sound right, but yet we continue the swing, attempting to hit the ball, only to wish we would have stopped and reset. The resulting shot is usually errant or less than what it could have been, given the rushed shot and the lack of ability or fortitude to pause and reset. 

How does this apply in our daily life? Quite simply, we rush things. We rush an outcome, we force an opinion, we cast quick judgement, or we say something we wish we could take back. We press forward with so much momentum that it’s nearly impossible to stop. Our head and heart are set in active motion. These paths are all optional, yet seem difficult at times to control the pace and outcome. I’ve spoken before on the mental impact of the swipe economy and our consumption of information at a rapid pace. My theory is that we are absorbed in the chase, and so quick move to the next thing, that we have forgotten where we are or even why we exist in any given moment. We’ve become habituated and thus numb to, and unaware of our own actions.  

What if we went into each segment of our day with more intention and a deeper clarity around the outcomes we desire in our life? 

What if we could learn to hold off just a few moments longer, to be party to a greater impact and less volatile result?  

What if we could become much better listeners and more patient, before we speak or take action?

What if in our need to control, we could actually develop the skill to PAUSE, reset, and release our bias driven momentum that we’ve given way to in the past?

Each of these questions present an opportunity for each of us to simply slow down. They give us an opening for future action that is inconsistent with our actions of the past where we could have made a more calculated choice; un-rushed, unbiased, and at a more effective pace. 

When you read studies about Tiger’s swing and listen to what his swing coaches tell us about each component, you’ll find a consistent observation; he builds in a split-second pause into his swing the top, as a go or no-go point to continue in momentum, or to stop and reset. We can do the same. We can build into our decision routines an intentional PAUSE. We can develop an internal operating rhythm that honors who we are trying to become, and that will allow for us to be a bit more patient and un-tethered to immediacy. The conscious choice and practice to assume innocence, is another system for productive PAUSE. Applying the acronym W.A.I.T., which stands for “why am I talking?,” again provides a level of insight and decision before acting out of self interest or reaction. 

My challenge for you this week is to consider how a “PAUSE practice” might benefit you and those you love and serve. Consider the intentionality and practice that will be required of you to have that practice be a strength and marked characteristic of your own personal operating system. Consider as well, where PAUSE might actually open up new levels of understanding and more productive listening channels, when we learn to lay down our immediate need to say or act. 

Remember that growth is always a choice.

Until next week my friends, make it a great one, and remember to always...HONOR.THE.GIFT.

#pause #theartofthepause #tigerstop #yourbestself #intentionality #become #UNLOCKED #todayistheday #itsonyou #ownthechange #leanintogrowth #experiencelivingtrue #egoistheenemy #growth #choice #mindset #highperformancecoaching #getoffthetreadmill #dothework #choosegrowth #wodoto #choiceisthegift #honorthegift

ESSENTIAL WORK

Erik Pevernagie said of things essential: “Schizophrenic pandemic aggression may keep us in the confinement of our physical arrest. Still, if we have no other tools in our shed, we have to grind our teeth, take a deep breath, sharpen our awareness, and use the time to recognize what is essential in life.”

Each week I try to remain open for the lesson  or lessons I am being taught. Sometimes they come on my morning walk and others in the day to day interactions with others. Sometimes they come as a result of insight from a new found challenge or in thoughtful observance of others around me. This week, it came early. I started thinking about the phrase we have been hearing a lot lately: “essential workers.” I think each of us could define what services and support we deem to be essential in our own lives. I think we can reflect fondly on those who serve as essential to others needs. But my mind was taken down a different road perhaps to consider what work do we engage in in our own lives that could be deemed essential. I chose to think on two of them.

Two things:

1. The essential work of your future. Do we really give our improved future state the effort it demands of us today? How easy do we allow for the daily distractions to take us off our path? Do we fear change and reduce our efforts to adopt a less than state.

2. The essential work of love for and service to others. Do we see people for who they can can become rather than who they are? People come from all walks of life and all sorts of current circumstance we know absolutely nothing about. Empathy is rare. Ego in the form of better than and less than is rampant. The call for deep human care and concern for others is at an all time high. We walk through walk through each day aware but indifference still exists.

When these thoughts came up for me, it really made me think more deeply on what matters most and whether or not I am purposeful in the design of my time to allow for focussed efforts in both categories. Am I really taking each day seriously when it comes to personal growth and service for others. DO I really see people as they can become rather than a present tense in my life?

I’ll close with this thought from Robert A. Heinlein, from his book Stranger in a Strange Land: “Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.”

My challenge for your this week is to consider your duty to the essential work in your life. Remember the two areas, personal growth and love for others. Make this next week really count. Things essential call for our greatest efforts and highest level of humility. Have compassion for others and be confident in prioritizing that what matters most. All other things remain distractions from humanity’s grandest call to be our best.  

Remember that growth is always a choice.

Until next week my friends, make it a great one, and remember to always...HONOR.THE.GIFT.

#humanity #essential work #loveforothers #bethebestfortheworld #yourbestself #intentionality #become #UNLOCKED #todayistheday #itsonyou #ownthechange #leanintogrowth #experiencelivingtrue #egoistheenemy #growth #choice #mindset #highperformancecoaching #getoffthetreadmill #dothework #choosegrowth #wodoto #choiceisthegift #honorthegift

THE ONE

Drew Dudley said to best during his TED Talk on Everyday Leadership: “…there is no world. There's only six billion understandings of it, and if you change one person's understanding of it, one person's understanding of what they're capable of, one person's understanding of how much people care about them, one person's understanding of how powerful an agent for change they can be in this world, you've changed the whole thing.” 

Today you can make a difference in one person’s life. Today you can have influence and impact. Today...connect with the one. Don’t gloss past the one by searching for many. At home. At work. In your community. There’s one person each day that can benefit from your presence. 

Remember that you, yourself, are one human being. We connect individually. One-on-one. We have such a tremendous opportunity in the pace and presence of engaging with each other at that level.

My challenge for your this week is to reach out to the one.  Forget the numbers, and focus on THE ONE. 

Remember that growth is always a choice.

Until next week my friends, make it a great one, and remember to always...HONOR.THE.GIFT.

#focusontheone #connectwiththeone #beheardandnotseen #yourbestself #intentionality #become #UNLOCKED #todayistheday #itsonyou #ownthechange #leanintogrowth #experiencelivingtrue #egoistheenemy #growth #choice #mindset #highperformancecoaching #getoffthetreadmill #dothework #choosegrowth #wodoto #choiceisthegift #honorthegift

AM I WILLING?

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the chaos of life at times and the routines both made and broken along the way. My mind wanders in and out of ideas and initiatives of the what ifs and how comes. Even in this season of life and during what seems like a lockdown, I still find that the moments are fleeting and the time for intentional reflection aren’t always a priority. Earlier this week the thought came clearly to me that time is something we must learn to master if we are to maximize it. What I’m trying to say is for those that learn to protect their time and be on purpose with what occupies their calendar, will ultimately become more effective in life. So this is what I am proposing for this upcoming week. Two things:

CLARIFY YOUR CALENDAR: be responsible for today, and for future growth activities. Reflect upon your path and think about what matters most today. Schedule and keep an appointment with yourself for 15 minutes to win the day: Clear your head. Set intentions. Schedule the needle movers for your day and for your future. Make it count.   

MAKE A PROMISE AND KEEP IT: make a promise to yourself on someone else’s behalf and keep it. Honor that person by honoring your promise to yourself. Pick that hard thing that you’ve been so hesitant to start or set into motion and commit to it. Pick that thing you haven’t done and know you should. What promises are you making and keeping? Today is a new day. Make one new promise today and keep it all week. 

These may seem simplistic, but I’ve found them to be extremely difficult and the actions rare for the vast majority of us. When you lean into growth, it takes tremendous courage to become your best self. 

From the voice of one of my dear friends and mentors @alan.2.ayers, “AM I WILLING?”

So for this week my friends, ask yourself that question. Schedule and protect your 15 minutes to win the day. Every day. Try is for this week and let me know what comes of it. 

As for me, YES, I am willing and able and commit to own each day. Today, I will schedule and protect my 15 minutes to win the day. I know the promise I must make to myself and how I will serve others around me. 

Recall that when me make and keep commitments to ourself and others there’s a natural confidence and a surety that follows.   

Remember that growth is always a choice!

Until next time my friends, make it a great one, and remember to always…HONOR.THE.GIFT.

#15minutestoruletheday #amiwilling #getuncomfortable #yourbestself #intentionality #become #UNLOCKED #todayistheday #itsonyou #ownthechange #leanintogrowth #experiencelivingtrue #egoistheenemy #growth #choice #mindset #highperformancecoaching #getoffthetreadmill #dothework #choosegrowth #wodoto #choiceisthegift #honorthegift

THE EYE OF THE STORM

In this week’s message, I offer up three perspectives as well as some lessons learned along the way. These perspectives will be covered shortly, but for now, let’s talk about storms.

When it comes to storms, in life there are many. It’s tough in the storm. It’s scary, uncomfortable, confusing, even debilitating at times and there’s typically no visible reprieve in sight.  The light...what light? We don’t know what comes next. However even in the storm, we find moments of familiarity. Where we stumble, is in the things we’ve taught or conditioned ourselves to neglect that still show up in the storm, thus a common feeling of imprisonment. 

Where can you find peace, even in the storm? THE EYE OF THE STORM. The eerie calm. Presence in spite of the storm with no way out but through the gnarly. The moment in which the storm is clearly articulated and the familiarities and necessity of change are upon us. 

NOW: Rewind and fast forward. 

3 perspectives or vantage points: (promised from earlier)

1. In the storm (pandemic and now application)

2. In the storm (pre-pandemic, not the same but with some of the same bugaboos)

3. In the storm (post-pandemic, the certainty of uncertainty)

All three storms have familiarities and known entities within them. What we navigate today, we have storms to reference from the past and an assurance that storms are on a time horizon yet to be determined. 

One of my all time favorite quotes is from John H. Groberg, regarding the storms in our lives. He said this: “Sometimes the Lord calms the storm, and sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child. We learn lessons from storms we cannot learn from calm seas." 

Storms vary in their season, definition and timeline. 

Today’s buzzwords: “unprecedented” (never done or known before) + “pandemic” (synonym and root: common affliction)

The STORM is dissonance, and the PLAGUE is a short-term memory. 

In Mark 4:40 Jesus said unto them, Why are ye so fearful? How is it that ye have no faith?

Found in my friend Joaby Parker’s lyrics from a song he co-wrote, Let It Rain:

“Let it rain. Let the lightning strike. And the memories of YOU (our savior), light up the night. Let it rain. Let the tears I’VE (both you and your savior) cried drown all this pain, and MY (your) foolish pride. 

The calm will come, but for so many, right now it’s not. The storm must rage in and around us. 

One of my mentors, Jeff Wilmore, recently wrote: “It’s uncomfortable for the brain to be with so much cognitive dissonance. That’s why we avoid it. In these days, and this time, there sure is a lot to be uncomfortable about, yes? ... I recommend embracing it. Getting comfortable with being uncomfortable.”

On this Easter Sunday I’m reminded and strengthened by my own testimony of The Great Physician who has already written the prescription for the storms I’ve faced and will face in my life: Christ on this day has risen. He has risen above all we will struggle with and have yet to endure. His perfect example taught us how to love, how to serve, and how to endure. 

Even in the storm, we can find peace as we love, serve, and remember. 

The “perfect” storm is one where it ALL aligns, all of the good, the bad and the ugly, where the beautiful gift of upheaval becomes the teacher for an incredibly humble student. 

My hope for each of you; is that this next week FINDS YOU. 

Remember that growth is always a choice!

Until next time my friends, make it a great one, and remember to always…HONOR.THE.GIFT.

#eyeofthestorm #thegreatphysician #easter #lessonslearned ##getuncomfortable #yourbestself #WODOTO #intentionality #become #UNLOCKED #todayistheday #itsonyou #ownthechange #leanintogrowth #experiencelivingtrue #egoistheenemy #growth #choice #mindset #highperformancecoaching #getoffthetreadmill #dothework #choosegrowth #wodoto #choiceisthegift #honorthegift

CREATE AND NOT JUST CONSUME

A few weeks back I shared my thoughts about using this time to SKILL UP, and also mentioned that now is not the time to lay off your efforts. Now is the time to double down on personal growth and development.

As I have been watching others, and engaging in some of the more meaningful conversations I’ve had in some time, I’ve noticed some polarization happening; givers and takers if you will, still caught up in consumption rather than creation. I’ve seen some become highly frustrated by the present state of the world while I’ve seen others almost at peace with the opportunity. Some expressing themselves in angst and highly evoked persona out of distaste for someone else’s existence, while others are opening up themselves to high levels of service and personal sacrifice. 

In the challenge to CREATE and not just consume, where might it provide new opportunity?

For those of you that know me, you’ll be familiar with the term watch one, do one, teach one. This concept was passed along to me by two dear friends, @noalk and @alan.2.ayers. The notion is that applied learning involves three things: first the lesson must be learned by watching someone else, moving then to application by doing what you’ve just learned and putting it into practice, finally to then teach what you’ve found to someone else. I believe that when we learn something new or something moves us, that it is for us in that moment, but to truly maximize the gift in our lives, we must give it away. When we serve humanity by offering up our greatest treasures found in growth, we then maximize our leadership potential.

One way then that we might CREATE and not just consume, is to each someone something. Reflect back in your life on the lessons learned and even the lessons you might be learning right now during this crazy time, and then share that lesson with someone. While we are proximally distanced, we are more connected than ever through technology, allowing us unique ways to connect and deliver our own lessons learned to the world around us. The collective learning opportunity right for all of us its tremendous. Be brave to ask questions. Be bold in your pursuit of new knowledge. Be strong in your commitment to serve.

Now, shifting gears a bit but still hanging on to the power and opportunity of connection, how are you using technology to continue to stay connected? There is great power and energy in proximity. I had the chance to reconnect by phone with an old friend this past week. I was reminded by @coach_bill_banta of the engaged energy potential between human beings.  In the words of Jim Rohn, “you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” If that is true, and you are looking to dial up your game, I would challenge you to take a moment and pick your five. Reach out to them and let them know that they are on your list of five and why you are looking to them right now. Be clear in how they can help you and what their influence might mean for you. Be willing to not just be mentored or influenced, but be willing to make a high commitment to do the same in return. One idea might be to create a virtual mastermind or some way of gathering all five individuals together. While this might seem odd at first, it’s a way to connect incredible human beings in an intentional way. For those of you that would rather connect one-on-one with your five, still go forward with the same intention to not just consume but to CREATE.

During this mandatory and conversely “perceived” lock-down, realize that there is no “mandatory” in your own space as a creator.

Here’s 5 things you can do right now to CREATE and not just consume:

1. Express gratitude 

2. Engage your five

3. Skill up 

4. Teach someone something

5. Re-evaluate your 6 F’s and set new intentions 

This is a time for clarity amidst the chaos. This is a time to make an even bigger impact in your home and in the communities you serve. This is a time to shed some of the unnecessary baggage and sludge that’s been accumulating. Have meaningful conversations. Do not use this as a time to get sucked into a trap of complacency. Find a few moments of silence for self reflection.

I continue to be incredibly inspired by the human spirit to overcome and serve. This spirit of love and service is God given and divinely appointed within us all. I’m grateful for the lessons being learned and for divine principles being solidified in my heart and mind and around the dinner table. 

Remember that growth is always a choice!

Until next week my friends, make it a great one, and remember to always…HONOR.THE.GIFT.

#createandnotjustconsume #serve #yourbestself #WODOTO #intentionality #become #UNLOCKED #todayistheday #itsonyou #ownthechange #leanintogrowth #experiencelivingtrue #egoistheenemy #growth #choice #mindset #highperformancecoaching #getoffthetreadmill #dothework #choosegrowth #wodoto #choiceisthegift #honorthegift