Hello friends and welcome to another weekly episode. This week’s topic is STORIES. We’ve heard it said in recent years that we are in the age of the story teller. When we expand that thinking and turn to the books on the shelf, we will find: the story we are writing; our own personal story, the stories we tell ourselves and the stories we are listening to. With all of the available options and limited time, which story will have the biggest impact in our lives?
Story originates from a desire to pronounce, recall, or magnify an emotion or state of being. Story can be used as entertainment, argument, or a method for internal solidification.
Let me first touch on the stories we spend most of our time with and that I would classify as external stories. The easy ones to identify is the stories we are listening to. All around us are other people’s opinions and interpretation of circumstance. People will go to great lengths to convince someone else of their realities. We see it at work around the water cooler: complaints and rumors about others, celebrations and the evolving details of relationships and the externalities others want you to focus on. We see it in the media both social and traditional. Opinions, expressions of interest, siding for a cause or siding to fit in, expressions of a life well lived even as a cover up at times to be seen as something different than reality. The media preys on the easily influenced with salacious headlines meant to stir and position as a justification for ongoing existence. Don’t get me wrong, I also believe you’ll find fair and humble representations of lives being well lived in both case as well. What I would like to draw attention to however, is that in the case of external stories, they are just that: external. These stories are happening around us, speedily passing us by and even staying a while when we catch one and hold onto it. They give us relief and often a place for us to sink opinion or attach a need to be noticed or fit in. They can be triggers for us to engage our fast thinking mechanism as an easy route to false identity. The time and energy we spend on external stories, while attractive and engaging, will only leave us confused and unsettled as we continue to turn the page. Quick consumption and quick opinion, laden with short term and often self serving needs to be noticed, these external stories are not ours, but rather borrowed and plagiarized.
On the internal story, quite possibly the grandest story we will ever encounter, is the one we are writing and not reading. It is the story afforded to us as a blank set of pages and the pen of choice. We write stories each day. Most of these stories stem from a thought or belief, or need for justification of a current assessment of an external emotion or stimulus. We see something and then make a quick judgment and assertion of meaning. If we continue to hold the pen, we decided how long we will stay with the thought or whether we will cast it aside and pick up a new line of thinking. The Arbinger Institute does a great job of defining the cycle of self deception and the power it has to create realties in our lives. On the flip side, we’ve also learned of the power of our mind when we focus our energy and consumption on the reality we seek or argue for.
With this in mind, if the story you are writing is not yours, and is not serving you and what you know to be your truth, set that book back on the shelf and pick up the one with the blank pages that you need to write. We have each been given a few blank pages in this life, and we’ve always had the pen. Write it and make it one that lights you up. You can write the very best story if you will keep it intentional and on your own paper. Start small (get in the weeds and minute details rather than being so broad and vague) with the intentional details of your story and then as you cement the strong habits of identity, then start to branch out in scope, depth and contribution.
A couple of thoughts on story telling, confirmation bias, and the characters we cling to from the petty books on the shelf:
“Most people seek to confirm their own bias. Rather than getting the facts or facing the truth, people prefer to justify their own mediocrity.” - Benjamin Hardy, PhD
+
“The most successful people, on the other hand, act as scientists toward life. They want the truth. They want data. Rather than seeking to confirm their bias, they are continually seeking to disrupt and disconfirm their bias.” - Benjamin Hardy, PhD
“We seek personal growth to be free from the pain we cause ourselves, to make better choices, to feel better about who we are becoming, to act more confidently in social situations, and to unleash our full creativity and contributions into the world in order to make our highest difference.” - Brendon Burchard
“The old character you’re playing is the very thing that will prevent you from becoming this new version of you. You can’t take the old story into the new identity.” - Ed Mylett
In closing let me make two statements:
Breakthroughs happen for those willing to give up security for significance. - goa
and...
At the end of one’s life, a finished transcript will always outweigh a story started, but never fully written.” - goa
Remember that growth is always a choice.
Until next week my friends, make it a great one, and remember to always...HONOR.THE.GIFT.
#stories #itsyourstory #writeagoodone #bealight #yourbestself #intentionality #UNLOCKED #todayistheday #itsonyou #ownthechange #leanintogrowth #experiencelivingtrue #egoistheenemy #growth #choice #mindset #highperformancecoaching #getoffthetreadmill #dothework #choosegrowth #wodoto #choiceisthegift #honorthegift