EMOTIONAL ENTITLEMENT

When it comes to our own emotions and justification of mood, we often proclaim all manner of entitled space and candor in regards to our feelings and the need to either be heard or receive allocated time to vent. While I won’t argue that each of us have a myriad of choices in front of us on how, when, and if we might express ourselves, what I have begun noticing more recently, is a sense of emotional entitlement.

The is no governance that exists, that would preclude us from feeling something. In fact, what we feel can be an honest grounding element in any assessment we find ourselves making. Feeling, however, does not always translate to an external manifestation of one’s present state of being.

Suppressed or open, again remains a choice available to us based often on our own awareness of self and established biases. Manipulation however based on those biases is often plays out as an open criticism of others. What I’ve noticed is when we complain about someone’s behavior, it’s typically behavior we are all too familiar with ourselves. (Read that two more times). This isn’t an accusation, but rather a stark awareness, as I have been a guilty culprit in my own life of this type of emotion outburst. 

When emotion moves from an internal feeling to an external mode of manipulation or justification, paired with a rant, therein lies the obstacle. Emotion is either rich with connection, or ripe with expulsion. As it goes, let me draw attention to three terms and/or concepts that show up for us as complex organisms thriving and jiving in imperfection: 

1. Counterfeit Emotional Language

2. Rational-Emotive Approach

3. Emotional Intelligence

Counterfeit Emotional Language is a form of communication that seems to express feelings, but doesn't quite describe what a person’s honest internal state might be. At times one could consider this an element of cordial hypocrisy.

Rational-Emotional Approach uses rational thinking to challenge and change debilitating emotions that undermine self-concept and self-esteem. This rationalization can come from ourselves or others as a defense mechanism or change agent. 

Emotional Intelligence is the unique ability to recognize one’s own feelings, and the fortitude to assess when they might be appropriate given current circumstance. It also engages a maturity and skill to communicate those feelings effectively.

When it comes to our emotional state, our physiology, perceptions, and social experiences all come into play. In a self serving state, we become less effective when we express our emotions in generalities, without ownership and from a state of counterfeit.

A colleague of mine, and and fellow coach, brought some serious heat when he explained: “We often judge others based on their actions, but ourselves based on our intentions. It’s often not a different story…just a different perspective.” Kermit Jones, you are a genius.

So here’s the summary as I try and bake it down. During times of increased self awareness and growth, know that associated upheaval and transformation will always be present, and will always leave you in a state of confusion and uncertainty. Have faith, however, in the fact that we were designed around unpredictability. Uncertainty is scary for sure, but it is in this uncertainty that we gain a new paradigm. In this new paradigm, might we challenge ourselves to consider that while we are fully entitled to our own emotions, we are never entitled to the emotions associated with dismissive behavior and criticisms of another, particularly when the behavior is one we’ve too been guilty of in our own times of imperfection.

Let us learn to slow down. Let us be less quick to allow frustration and anger to enter our world. Let us be thoughtful in our reflection and judgement of self, along our own journey, before we release an entitled assessment of someone else.

Remember that growth is always a choice!

Until next week my friends, make it a great one, and remember to always…HONOR.THE.GIFT.

#emotionalentitlement #intention #slowdown #shiftyourparadigm #become #unlocked #todayistheday #itsonyou #ownthechange #leanintogrowth #experiencelivingtrue #egoistheenemy #growth #choice #mindset #highperformancecoaching #getoffthetreadmill #dothework #choosegrowth #wodoto #choiceisthegift #honorthegift

WHAT DO I DO?

(ADVICE IN TURBULENT TIMES)

Over the past few weeks I have had this question come up a few times with some of my coaching clients. When the question comes, it is usually at a perceived impasse. It usually comes with a tremendous amount of pent up stress and personal entrapment. The future seems bleak and the way out seems nearly impossible and certainly unknown. 

The answer always comes in the form of a question: 

If you were to ask your future or highest/best self to advise you in this season of your life, what would they tell you to do?

When it comes to high performance, there exists two fundamental characters, called upon often, to help solve for key decisions and next steps during turbulent times. These two characters are one, your highest/best self, and two, your future self.

When one or both of these characters are called in to help make decisions that count, they show up brilliantly, and without fail seem to always have the exact answer and insight into greater results and higher level performance. 

We‘ve heard that we are the average of the five people we surround ourselves with and that high performers are always seeking to develop this core posse of influence. For some this might include more immediate influences and individuals they call upon daily, for others this may be a group of evolving mentors. I’ve seen this manifested in study groups, mastermind groups, and sometimes just simply a group of core friends and colleagues that consistently show up in a way that promotes and influences positive growth. 

Now, for the grand epiphany, and to stop rambling, the marriage of these two concepts rocked me to the core. Again, the answer lies in the form of a question: 

Why do we not include one of these characters as a closely held and highly regarded colleague that occupies a permanent seat at our own advisory table? 

If they can help us get better results, and show up to help guide us in the gaps between where we are today and where we need to go, invite them to be a regular guest. They should be. Make sure to always leave one seat empty at the table to be filled by YOUR BEST SELF! 

On another note, we know that living true is expensive;  mentally, physically and spiritually. It will test you often when the natural choices are to flee from the hard and to absorb yourself in scarcity rather than abundance. The Haitians have a proverb — “Dèyè mòn gen mon” — which translates into “Beyond mountains there are mountains”. As such, the obstacle becomes the way. 

Ask your future self the question! Ask the future self that has already navigated this and many more mountains. The leadership you seek begins with you. 

If there is one thing I have noticed it is that people struggle because they forget their identity and their purpose. Identity is part of the confidence pathway. When identity and purpose are not a part of every day actions, we find ourselves lost and afraid of what might be. 

That empty seat at the table. Tap into it. It’s here that you’ll start to see more clearly the future that can be and when acted upon will be. 

Now is not the time to lay off your efforts. Now is the time to double down on personal growth and development. I continue to be incredibly inspired by the human spirit to overcome and serve. This spirit of love and service is God given and divinely appointed within us all. 

Remember that growth is always a choice!

Until next week my friends, make it a great one, and remember to always…HONOR.THE.GIFT.

#askyourselfthequestion #yourbestself #futureidentity # theobastacleistheway #intentionality #become #unlocked #todayistheday #itsonyou #ownthechange #leanintogrowth #experiencelivingtrue #egoistheenemy #growth #choice #mindset #highperformancecoaching #getoffthetreadmill #dothework #choosegrowth #wodoto #choiceisthegift #honorthegift

CLARITY

Dr. Benjamin Hardy said it best: “In an obsessive state, you begin to justify away what you truly want from life. Yet, in a moment of CLARITY,  of seeing life without your unhealthy passion,   you feel immense hope and joy again for the life you seek to create.”

From Ryan Holiday’s Daily Stoic, he quotes Epictetus and his wise perspective on our opportunity for response amidst times of distress. Epictetus said: “It is not external events themselves that cause us distress, but the way in which we think about them, our interpretation of their significance. It is our attitudes and reactions that give us trouble. We cannot choose our external circumstances, but we can always choose how we respond to them.”

Brendon Burchard went on further to say: ”If you are always in a state of hurry, anxiety, stress, panic, busyness, then what energy are you teaching others to adopt? If you won’t learn to bring mindfulness and peace to the day for yourself, do it for those around you who may be harmed by unchecked emotional contagion.” 

In a world of constant volatility and variability, it seems at times it’s all we can do to keep our wits about us.  Even in times of less chaos than others, it can still feel a bit tenuous and disconnected, resulting in a sense of question and mire. The call for CLARITY in a world of chaos has never been more needed. Those who remain clear and grounded in their pursuits and personal stewardship will continue to be a beacon of light in the world. 

With your permission, can we shake off the funk for just a moment? 

When things start to feel pressured and tempest, I have found that a good timeout is something that can afford us an opportunity to get a bit more grounded and intentional.   In this space I have also found that a well framed question is something that can help us see, feel, hear and explore new possibility and claimed space. With that, let me give you five questions meant to help you explore where there is an opportunity for real CLARITY in your life.

1. What do you feel most certain and clear about in your life right now?

2. What are the things you value the most in your life, and why?

3. Do you feel clear about who you are, and WHY you exist? 

4. Do you feel aligned in your efforts to become your highest and best self?

5. What new level of impact and influence can you have on those you serve?

Question four from this list introduces us to one of the great mentors we’ll have ongoing access to, as we navigate life’s challenges and forks in the road. May I introduce you to your “future self” and/or the “best version of yourself?” This incredible human being will show up when called upon, to advise you in the decisions you face and challenges you’re trying to navigate. We forget how smart this person is, and if we will thoughtfully frame the questions and answers from a place of strength and humility, we’ll find a tremendous amount of insight and CLARITY from them. This is not an excuse for pride and ego, nor is it an excuse for distancing, but rather an acknowledgment that our best efforts will require an increased level of CLARITY and commitment. So many of us look at our present level of existence and lack of CLARITY as par for the course. Hal Hershfield intimated that “We perceive our future selves” more like strangers than as parts of ourselves.” 

When it comes to the intentionality growth requires, remember the words of Robin Sharma: “Getting lost along your path is a part of finding the path you’re meant to be on. Sometimes we need to get off track before we can develop the CLARITY to be on track.” 

CLARITY is a foundation of growth and significance. It is a tenet of a life by design, and one of intentionality. With that understanding, I will leave you with this insight from my friend Brendon Burchard: “Doubt increases with inaction. CLARITY reveals itself in momentum. Growth comes from progress. For all these reasons, begin.” 

May you take a moment of intention to create the CLARITY you’ll need to navigate this next season of life. Your vision for the future and your role in it will lend itself to a sense of peace, and your actions will be a beacon and light in times of darkness, not only for yourself but also for those around you. 

Remember that growth is always a choice!

Until next week my friends, make it a great one, and remember to always…HONOR.THE.GIFT.

#clarity #intentionality #become #unlocked #todayistheday #itsonyou #ownthechange #leanintogrowth #experiencelivingtrue #egoistheenemy #growth #choice #mindset #highperformancecoaching #getoffthetreadmill #dothework #choosegrowth #wodoto #choiceisthegift #honorthegift

COURAGE

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about COURAGE. I’ve considered how it shows up in my life, when it does and doesn’t, and more importantly, how do I continue to develop more of it? 

So to begin this week’s rant, I thought we could begin with a question:

Where does courage come from?  

A quick GOOGLE search would suggest the following - “The root of the word courage is cor - the Latin word for heart. In one of its earliest forms, the word courage meant "To speak one's mind by telling all one's heart." Over time, this definition has changed, and today, we typically associate courage with heroic and brave deeds.”

So…how do we start to gain more courage in our lives, not just in times or great trial but also in the day-to-day? 

My personal belief is that the greatest act of courage for each one of us, is when we exercise the COURAGE TO LIVE TRUE.

The dichotomy of courage exists where external influences (love and trust) might strengthen one’s ability to go into the danger, while at the same time the movement comes from an internal commitment to take risk in spite of the fear and repercussions of those external to us, even those we…(love and trust.) That personal choice to go forward, in spite of the danger, is profoundly responsible for the providence we seek in our lives. I believe that lasting courage must come from within and practiced to sustain those lonely moments when we face the very personal and sacred opportunity of growth.   

But what happens when the FEAR is so great that we stall and vacillate in CHOICE? 

Years ago I heard the following acronym and counterpart regarding FEAR. The CHOICE goes like this:

F.E.A.R. 

Forget Everything And Run or Face Everything And Rise

When it comes to FEAR, do we see it and recognize it for what it is? 

Brendon Burchard said of FEAR - “Outside of fears for physical health in dangerous situations, what we most often fear are three things. First, we fear LOSS PAIN – that by changing or advancing in our lives we will lose something important to us. Second, we fear PROCESS PAIN – that the mere act or process of changing will be too hard for us. Third, we fear OUTCOME PAIN – that all the effort we put into changing may not lead to a better outcome in our lives, that the “grass might not be greener.” 

• When it comes to the change I seek, I’ve not changed because I am afraid of…

• I haven’t chased my dreams with more courage and commitment because I am afraid I might lose....

• If I were to overcome all my fears and have the courage to take action to improve, my life would be different in what way...

Let me suggest 5 primers as you work to develop more COURAGE in your life: 

1. Identify and reflect on a time in your life where you felt most courageous.

2. Are there areas in your life right now you know you could be stepping up?

3. Is there anyone in your life you feel you should be more honest with than you have been?

4. If you had more courage today, what would you stop doing right now? 

5. If you had more courage today, what would you start doing?

When it comes to the important relationships in our lives, there are people that want to hear what’s really on our mind, what needs we might have, and more importantly what the ambitions of our heart might be? There are incredible people standing by, waiting to cheer us on.  

By not sharing these things, what might it be costing you? As you recognize and feel that indeed there is a cost, who will you courageously engage in the next five days with the things you have been holding back from them?

If you seek more confidence; If you seek more consistency; If you seek more congruency in your life; I promise that it all lies on the other side of bold action, derived in COURAGE, and on the other side of that single courageous step forward!

Until next week my friends, make it a great one, and remember to always…HONOR.THE.GIFT.

#courage #nofear #unlocked #itsonyou #ownthechange #leanintogrowth #experiencelivingtrue #egoistheenemy #growth #choice #mindset #highperformancecoaching #getoffthetreadmill #dothework #choosegrowth #wodoto #choiceisthegift #honorthegift

INFLUENCE(R)

INFLUENCE(R)

Seems these days that there are more and more people chasing the title or public identity of an “influencer.” Truth be told, it’s an empty chase. Our existence as an influencer” has already been determined by the fact that we exist on a planet with 7.5 billion other humans and by that nature our existence does in deed mean that we have influence and impact on others.

So...rather than chasing a meaningless acknowledgment, just BE a person that is intentional about the impact you are having on those around you. Own it. Be an influencer! 

A few questions for you to consider:

1. What does influence mean to you? 

2. Can you describe the most influential person in your life, and why they were so influential?

3. Where do you wish you had more influence in your life right now?

4. What do you think you could do to increase your influence in that area?

5. If you could be an even better role model for someone right now, who would that be and what would you do for them?

When it comes to influence, be intentional about what you want others to experience when they interact with you. This is a conscious choice that you can practice owning.

Now, for this week’s challenge:

Think of a person who has influenced your life for good; someone that may have shifted the way you see the world around you or someone that has impacted your life in a big way, and simply thank them. Write them a letter, send a text, call them, or whatever line of communication you’d choose, to just simply let them know of the the impact and INFLUENCE they’ve had in your life.

This simple act of gratitude and persona outreach is owning your voice by being intentional in your impact on others.

Until next week my friends, make it a great one and remember to always HONOR.THE.GIFT.

#influencer #impactandinfluence #unlocked #itsonyou #ownthechange #leanintogrowth #experiencelivingtrue #egoistheenemy #growth #choice #mindset #highperformancecoaching #getoffthetreadmill #dothework #choosegrowth #wodoto #choiceisthegift #honorthegift

ARE YOU DRUNK?

Have you ever had a quiet conversation with yourself that goes something like this? 

Me: Are you drunk?

Also Me: No. 

Me Again: I don’t think so, in fact I know so. 

And, Me: Wait…what do you mean? 

Have you ever had one of those out-of-body moments, or rather and out-of-mind moment, where you ask yourself what the what? In those moments, it seems that temporarily suspending the haze through either external stimulus in the form of a question, or an adverse action/reaction from our current environment whether it be from ourself or another person, is the exact freeze moment when we might consider that in all reality we might just be intoxicated.  

I’ve been studying cognitive biases recently, and the way they show up in our lives. I’ve also been spending time with Malcolm Gladwell’s most recent work titled Talking to Strangers. My mind has been racing on the possible corollaries between the impact of alcohol on the brain as it relates to our surroundings, while also considering the parallel behavior and affect under the influence of our own biases. So, in an attempt to further explore my hypothesis that the two scenarios do in deed have similarities and the same self serving, and potentially damaging behavior, I reached out to my friend Dr. Benjamin Hardy. 

Dr. Hardy has a PhD in Organizational Psychology and is a well known author and speaker.  He is preparing to release his upcoming book titled Personality Isn’t Permanent, where he teaches the reader that rather than being defined by the past and trapped in unresolved traumas, you can build your identity and internal narrative to serve the future you desire. If you haven’t pre-ordered it yet, run, don’t walk. Again, the title is Personality Isn’t Permanent. 

This is not a paid advertisement but rather a heart felt plug for a work I believe will absolutely change the world.

So, back to the quest for theoretical support, I shot Benjamin a text with this question: What impact does environmental construct have on bias myopathy, and possibly the reversal of destruction of myopic cognition?

As any good coach or teacher might do, he just simply asked me what I thought. 

My answer:

Drawing conclusions from some recent reading and studying, If alcohol has a myopic effect on the mind by creating a nearsightedness and frontal spacing for the immediate belief of surrounding environment (drinking alone exacerbates loneliness, drinking in a comedy club may enhance your belief that you’re also funny), I would presume the nearsightedness of biases would have a similar reinforcement based on the construct of your environment. I believe both are altered states. By definition, myopia is defined as a lack of imagination, foresight, or intellectual insight. A myopic (blurred) bias (fixed reality), would then have a similar effect of alcohol on the individual, placing only what’s in an immediate frontal space into an enhanced or exacerbated reinforcement of presumed reality. 

I reached out to Dr. Hardy because of his work in environmental construct, and I proposed to him in our conversation that I believe the chance for bias de-construct could be made possible through intentional environmental construct and new habit formation. 

In Malcolm Gladwell’s book Talking to Strangers he states: “If you are blind to the ideas that underlie our mistakes with strangers, and to the institution and practices that we construct around those ideas, then all you are left with is the personal” and upon further exploration he closes with this question and statement: “Because we do not know how to talk to strangers, what do we do when things go awry with strangers? We blame the stranger.”  

To say my mind is racing would be an understatement. This concept and more importantly the understanding of how entrenched one can become in their own biases as well as the possibility that through effective environmental construct and habit formation one can actually create a space for bias destruction to further unlock ones ability to grow and develop. 

If so, then where does adaptive affect come into the picture? I would suspect that some biases are adaptive and contagious based on environmental construct. I would suspect that some of these biases develop unknowingly and through extended exposure to a particular environment. We’ll have to save that conversation for another day. 

In closing, the more I understand my own biases, and observe the biases of those around me, the more I realize that we are all too often intoxicated in and by our own cognition. The myopic impact of biases both conscious and unconscious can and most often blind us from the possibilities of growth. If we are to intentionally create a disruption, what external event could we create to draw a clear and reckoning awareness of our limiting biases? 

Until next week my friends, may you find joy in the journey as you learn to honor.the.gift.

#areyoudrunk #cognitivebiases #unlocked #itsonyou #ownthechange #leanintogrowth #experiencelivingtrue #egoistheenemy #growth #choice #mindset #highperformancecoaching #getoffthetreadmill #dothework #choosegrowth #wodoto #choiceisthegift #honorthegift

THERE IS NO SECRET!

There is no secret!

There is no secret to success!

In fact, there’s no consistency in how we each define SUCCESS in our lives and how it relates to the various domains we may be active in defining or working towards.

When it comes to next level performance, i.e new success, the things that must be done, must be done. There are no secrets. The things that must be done are hidden from our preview because we choose to block them out. The difficulties we face are the ones most of us are unwilling to dance with. We hide behind fear because we make assessments about the future that may or may not be grounded at all Rendering us stalled out.

With every grounded assessment comes a choice, a path towards future action. That IS THE GIFT!

There’s a great quote from Jon Gordon, where says this:

“Unfortunately it takes a crisis for so many of us to change. We wait for things to fall apart before we start thinking about our life and what we want. Sometimes we have to see what we don’t want, to know what we do want.”

So knowing that, why then do we wait?

What environmental conditions can we create right now in our day-to-day lives where we might apply time and intention in pursuit of a greater outcome?

Rather than wait for crisis or change, are you willing to create INTENTIONAL DISRUPTION in you life to get the results you want?

My calling is people experience living true. My commitment and promise to you is that everything we do together will align with and honor that calling.

So, if you’re ready to create a massive shift in your life with far better outcomes than you’re getting right now, buckle up. This ride is one you’ll not want to miss. If you choose to engage, it will change you forever!

Until next week my friends, may you find joy in the journey as you learn to honor.the.gift.

#thereisnosecret #creativeresistance #itsonyou #ownthechange #leanintogrowth #yourbestself #egoistheenemy #growth #choice #mindset #highperformancecoaching #getoffthetreadmill #dothework #choosegrowth #wodoto #choiceisthegift #honorthegift

THE DICHOTOMY OF CREATIVE TENSION

di·chot·o·my is defined as

/dīˈkädəmē/

noun

1. a division or contrast between two things that are or are represented as being opposed or entirely different.

In this photograph we see two subjects in stark contrast, working together, to create a greater whole. The contrast of the dark, gnarled, dormant tree in the foreground is in clear opposition to a brilliantly colored sunset, full of life and vibrancy; illustrating that when combined, the end result can be quite brilliant and well balanced. 

Life is full of dichotomies. They show up for us as tension in the “go forward.” We expend great efforts in our lives with the hope and byproduct of future rest and relaxation, only to find that stagnancy once there, can lead to a myriad of ailments. We experience resonance in times of want, and dissonance in times of prosperity.

Just as a rubber band finds its intended use when stretched, so do we. 

Essential to our growth, and by divine design, we learn that there must be an opposition in all things. In this, we are presented one of the grandest dichotomies of life. New growth and a brighter tomorrow can only come through an opposition of experience. 

Stoicism would teach us that “the impediment to action advances action. That those things that stand in the way become the way.” 

This dichotomy is further confirmed in the applied study of Physics, where we learn of Sir Isaac Newton’s Three Laws of Motion, specifically the 3rd law which states that for every action (force applied) there is an equal but opposite reaction (equal force applied in the opposite direction).

As we break this down and look for specific application in our own lives, key in on the concept of “force applied.” In fact, Newton’s 1st and 2nd Laws deal primarily withmotion, rest, and momentum. From the 1st Law we learn that objects in motion tend to stay in motion, and objects at rest tend to stay at rest unless an outside force acts upon them. And from the 2nd, the rate of change of the momentum of a body is directly proportional to the net force acting on it.

Dr. Carol Dweck, known for her prolific work on the psychology of mindset, further demonstrates the dichotomy of a growth mindset and a fixed mindset and their associated outcomes. 

I have a theory I like to refer to as the “sunset theory.” I believe there exists two types of people in the world, those that will stop and make the time for a sunset and those that won’t. Those that are taken back by its incredible beauty and gift, as opposed to others who refuse to make the space for it in their lives. Those undecided and stuck in the between may argue that time constraints don’t always allow for this indulgence. With that I’d openly challenge our individual schedules to make the adjustment and allocate the time. 

In building upon last week, and back to my sunset theory, we can choose to see opposition and dichotomy as problematic or essential. Where we place our focus, our energy tends to follow.

Whenever we engage in the intentional pursuit of a better tomorrow, it will always be met with a tacit call to action, and an imbalance requirement we may not have anticipated, nor desire, which really brings us full circle. In this dichotomy called creative tension, where new growth happens when we stretch ourselves beyond our present capability by navigating through and enduring the muck, it is then that we find our most fruitful outcomes. 

Enjoy the journey. Realize that in all creative work there exists a necessary tension. Learn to recognize its presence and be willing to lean into the invitation of growth. Life’s most beautiful vistas live in this sacred dichotomy. 

If this week’s message has impacted you, share it, if it can be of help to someone you care about, share it. As I have stated before, I believe the greatest gift in our mortal lives is the gift of choice; how we honor that gift will shape the eternities. May we each honor.the.gift. 

Until next week my friends, make it a great one.  

#dichotomy #sunsettheory #creativeresistance #bealight #ownit #itsonyou #ownthechange #creator #leanintogrowth #yourbestself #egoistheenemy #growth #choice #mindset #highperformancecoaching #getoffthetreadmill #dothework #choosegrowth #wodoto #choiceisthegift #honorthegift

GEEKING OUT ON R.A.S.

Hello, and welcome to another weekly installment. Have you ever wondered why after you buy the new car in  color you choose and immediately after you drive off the lot you see your exact same car in the exact color more frequently? Well, there is a scientific explanation to this and it has to do with a little tiny system called your R.A.S. This stands for your reticular activating system. It is found at the base of your brain. Its primary function is to act as a conscious filter of information. Here’s the kicker though…it filters and processes information based on what you’ve practiced and repetitively played out as the most important information. Without getting too geeky, it works to project a reality that in deed you have trained it to project.

Earlier this week I had the chance to spend what I would consider critical coaching time with two people I care for deeply. Both had become so wrapped up in their own realities and thought processes that their view of their world was fixated, absolute, diminished and less hopeful. As we worked to explore the relationship between what we spend our time trying to convince our brain of and how it then translates into a constructed reality, it was evident that a more productive pathway, including one that could bring more happiness, more confidence and a better basis for the future to be built upon, was possible. 

The brain is a powerful weapon for either creation or destruction. Brendon Burchard said once that that what we apply hate to quickly dies. 

Quite literally, what we choose to see, say, and think about, will scientifically create a farce filter of truth based on what we practice. 

With that I leave you with this thought: “That what you focus on becomes your reality!”

Be careful of the language you use, the stories you tell, and the amount of time and energy you spend trying to control the uncontrollables by focussing on everything that is wrong in your world with those around you. 

If this is something you struggle with, I would challenge you to be absolutely INTENTIONAL this coming week. Pay careful attention to your view of yourself and the world around you. Listen to the language you use.  Pay attention to the labels of circumstance you choose; The I AM’s and THEY ARE’s. The can’ts and won’ts and nevers. Let your future be shaped by the possibilities of a better self. It will take practice, but you come well equipped with a tool that is perfectly designed to get you the results you want if you will feed it with better information. Quite literally, you can shape your view of the world by focussing your thoughts and words on the opposite of what you have been. One step in that direction begins with gratitude. As you seek for and focus on even the smallest things and begin to verbalize and construct working terms around those thoughts, feeling and emotions, you will begin to change your view of the world around you. 

If this has impacted you, share it, if it can be of help to someone you care about, share it. As I have shared before, I believe the greatest gift in our mortal lives is the gift of choice; how we honor that gift will shape the eternities. May we each honor.the.gift. 

Until next week my friends, make it a great one.  

#RAS #changeyourreality #useyourbain #bealight #ownit #itsonyou #ownthechange #creator #leanintogrowth #yourbestself #egoistheenemy #growth #choice #mindset #highperformancecoaching #getoffthetreadmill #dothework #choosegrowth #wodoto #choiceisthegift #honorthegift

TRUE FREEDOM

On the topic of giving, C.S. Lewis proclaimed: “I do not believe one can settle how much we ought to give. I am afraid the only safe rule is to give more than we can spare. In other words, if our expenditure on comforts, luxuries, amusements, etc, is up to the standard common among those with the same income as our own, we are probably giving away too little.”

Life is full of questions. The questions we ask most often, are the subconscious ones associated with our selfish deployment.

Sometimes, in the very act of questioning, we mistake our intent by rationalizing the need to be right and recognized. Some of this happens subconsciously, while at times it can even be blatant.

Nonetheless, our journey continues as we seek out any confirmation life might have to offer and the addiction ensues.

On the opposite end of the spectrum one might wonder what freedom lies beyond self indulgence.  When we are able to see the world for what it is, rather than what we need to fuel our hyper identity, that’s when the magic begins.

Simply put, true freedom can be found when we release the desire to be recognized.

The more we learn to let go of self, the more often we’ll you’ll experience a glimpse of who we can become.

This past week was insightful, and I hope that by sharing a few of my favorite quotes found on my own road and journey, that they will find place on yours as I pass them along. If they resonate with you, I’d challenge you to do the same. Each one of us have the ability to impact this world and help shape those around us through our influence for good. 

HIDE AND SEEK

Brendon Burchard wisely counseled: “Don’t speak poorly of others. You don’t need to minimize other people to maximize your own potential.”

We see similar advice from  Stephen R. Covey when he advised: “To retain those who are present, be loyal to those who are absent.”

In a world ripe with the criticism of others as a sport and the open criticism of self and failed comparison to others I say this: Hide and seek is a game not intended for self sabotage.

Our time is limited and divinely purposed for growth. Our mission of this mortal journey was not intended for the frivolities of pettiness and avoidance from the personal responsibility of growth and preparation for a grander purpose. 

May we each seek, and find, opportunities to exercise more patience, to love deeper, and to exercise contribution to a grander outcome. 

This past week was insightful, and I hope that by sharing a few of my favorite quotes found on my own road and journey, that they will find place on yours as I pass them along. If they resonate with you, I’d challenge you to do the same. Each one of us have the ability to impact this world and help shape those around us through our influence for good. 

VOICE

From Springsteen’s hit Born To Run, you’ll find this raw and insightful lyric: “The highway's jammed with broken heroes, on a last chance power drive. Everybody's out on the run tonight, but there's no place left to hide.”

We chase while we run. We hide while we seek. We hope while we suppress. Inevitably we meander through life intentionally lost. Intentional by design. Sheltered for warm incubation. Enough so, that it’s time will find an imperative search deep within to uncover what we feel and sense. A voice within each one of us. A voice that beckons for release and development. A voice when found and used, can impact the world around us. 

For some, this voice appears on the path sooner than others. For some, it comes almost too late...but it does come.

Through all the years of coaching some incredible humans being...well...human, I’ve found voice to be one of the things we work on most often. Voice is unique and has the power and significance to change your world, yet it’s one of the hardest things to find when you’re caught up in the suppression of self image and doubt.

I’ve coined an acronym that sums up what I’ve found personally regarding this journey, and all I ask is that you consider the possibility and invitation:

VOICE: a Vulnerable, Open Integrity that Changes Everything.” 

If you wonder what your voice might be, let go of the charade and run no more. The voice within is ready for you to give it life.

This past week was insightful, and I hope that by sharing a few of my favorite quotes found on my own road and journey, that they will find place on yours as I pass them along. If they resonate with you, I’d challenge you to do the same. Each one of us have the ability to impact this world and help shape those around us through our influence for good. 

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AUTHENTIC TRUST

Life is full of twists and turns. There are doorways that open and close all around us. Choices followed by consequence, as well as times of non-choice also supported by ongoing consequence. One of the longest and bumpiest roads we’ll travel is that of personal alignment. You see, there’s no easy pathway that will lead you to the doorway of authentic trust.

Authentic trust requires a commitment and faith in the “go-forward.” It requires that we own the choices of the present and let go of the choices of the past. It also requires that we set aside our differences with those on our path.

Authentic trust is a place of constant start and stops, and has no guarantee of future outcome. It is a way of being, however, that can stifle the combative noise and stagnancy of life as it has been and provide us new life.

Dr. David R. Hawkins explained that: “Hell is not a condition imposed by a judgmental God, but rather the inevitable consequence of one’s own decisions. Hell is the final outcome of constantly choosing the negative and thus isolating oneself from love and truth.“

Take the path. Learn to trust. Have faith in the future.

This past week was insightful, and I hope that by sharing a few of my favorite quotes found on my own road and journey, that they will find place on yours as I pass them along. If they resonate with you, I’d challenge you to do the same. Each one of us have the ability to impact this world and help shape those around us through our influence for good. 

THE MUSIC BETWEEN THE NOTES

Dieter F. Uchtdorf explained that “Patience is not passive resignation, nor is it failing to act because of our fears. Patience means active waiting and enduring. It means staying with something and doing all that we can - working, hoping, and exercising faith; bearing hardship with fortitude, even when the desires of our hearts are delayed. patience is not simply enduring; it is enduring well!

Impatience, on the other hand, is a symptom of selfishness. It is a trait of the self-absorbed. It arises from the all too-prevalent condition called "center of the universe" syndrome, which leads people to believe that the world revolves around them and that all others are just supporting cast in the grand theater of mortality in which only they have the starring role.”

How often do we misplace growth for stagnancy? How often do we wrestle with solace in times of confusion? How often do we act out as opposed to having presence?

In my own life experience, I’ve come to realize that it’s the music between the notes that helps us see and hear.

What that means is that there’s brilliant learning and advice that aways comes during moments of chaos and unrest if we will just be slow down and be fully present in the moment, rather than hurrying for the time to pass. There’s wisdom available if we will set down the phone, turn off the TV, get to higher ground and just listen. What you’ll see, feel, and hear will be the lesson meant for you in that very moment.

Be patient while the music breathes. 

This past week was insightful, and I hope that by sharing a few of my favorite quotes found on my own road and journey, that they will find place on yours as I pass them along. If they resonate with you, I’d challenge you to do the same. Each one of us have the ability to impact this world and help shape those around us through our influence for good. 

AVOID SKEPTICISM

Doctor Benjamin Hardy explains that: “Most people seek to confirm their own bias. Rather than getting the facts or facing the truth, people prefer to justify their own mediocrity. The most successful people, on the other hard, act as scientists toward life. They want the truth. They want data. Rather than seeking to confirm their bias, they are continually seeking to disrupt and disconfirm their bias.”

‘Recency Bias’ is just that, it’s the justification and adoption of past, present, and future events based on what we already know. It’s only informed by the past, and yet we cling so tightly to its predictive ability to shape of our own future. The extent we energize ourselves around the defense and ownership of its existence is one of the most troubling of all personal ailments.

When we only consider the recent past as a predictor of what can be, we limit our progress. Period. We become fixed and finite, with no potential for the new. Growth is stifled. 

Dr. Hardy confirms for us that growth requires us to do the work. One’s bold actions around disruption of their own biases can prove to open pathways once closed and better yet, never discovered. An example of this is in the judgement of others and how we’ve allowed it to shape our endorsement of their future. It creates a separation of value and confirms a less than or better than view. With that, I’d challenge us all to be careful with skepticism as it can give new wings to ego’s way.

This past week was insightful, and I hope that by sharing a few of my favorite quotes found on my own road and journey, that they will find place on yours as I pass them along. If they resonate with you, I’d challenge you to do the same. Each one of us have the ability to impact this world and help shape those around us through our influence for good.