ACT : the opposite of react. Action comes from a place of confidence and conviction, unfettered from the winds and drift found in reactivity. Negativity begets negativity. Positivity begets positivity. Learn to govern your emotions to pause the reactivity that can come with a closely tied emotional response. I remember that my mom would always challenge me to count to 10. Who does your reaction serve? Are you future focussed and confident in your own game and level of performance you are seeking. The winds will blow you every which way if not, and you’ll find yourself in a constant state of turmoil and non-satisfaction. Reactivity tends to be a shortcut, that doesn’t require much thinking on our part. It taps into assessments of the past and predicts a future unattached to our own contribution.
In science, reactivity is a measure of how readily a substance undergoes a chemical reaction. When it comes to human behavior, to be reactive is to be ready to react or respond to something else, as opposed to ready to act on one's own. A person who's reactive, will do things ONLY in response to others.
What this tells me, is that those of us who have a tendency to react more quickly than others are probably the most in need of some pre-planning and intentionality around who we are, and how we want to show up in our own game of life. Here’s the harsh reality behind the psychology of reactivity. You’ll want to really hear this and soak in it a bit. Reactivity refers to the human tendency to change their behavior when they know that they are being watched. This is a part of the normal human desire to be perceived in the best possible light, and not be judged in a negative way.
Be intentional, and practice THE PAUSE as we have talked about before. Are you fully aware of your emotional response and triggers? When we have a tendency for reaction, we are typically the target for easy manipulation.
Your best, requires a high level of consistency and commitment to your standards and way of being. Are you front loading? Specifically how are you preparing for those times when your emotional response paired with a reaction might set you back in your journey forward.
I recently had the chance to sit down with my daughter Kensley. We weren’t on the same page and definitely had alternate and diverse perspectives of what was and each other’s way of being. When tempers and emotions calmed down, I asked a simple question, that was met with another dose of justification for the reaction, which gave us a moment to slow down and to truly dive into an opportunity for intentionality. I asked her this: How do you want others to experience you? When she carefully thought it through in a moment and clear space of non-reactivity, she simply stated that she wanted others to experience love.
If we want others to experience something specific, it requires a high level of intentionality and purpose. It requires that we set the need to be seen through a funnel of quick reaction by the wayside. It means that we better get crystal clear with ourselves about how we go about CREATING and aligned experience for those around us.
I AM ____________! How often do we consciously and un-consciously fill in that blank with both greater than or less than, ego driven statements? The quick labeling of self in ANY context provides a mental servitude to that label. The act of being when left unassigned for someone to hear and take notice, has lasting and certainly superficial diversion.
This is going deep. This is opening yourself to a way of being, rather than a desire to be noticed. For in that moment when tongue begins to connect with desire of visibility or assigned meaning, DO NOT FILL IN THE BLANK. Avoid it as best you can. If not, It will knock you off the path to becoming your best self.
The better approach and statement of self comes in the form of a question:
AM I ______________?
Am I willing to assess without public notice or collusion to justify one’s being? Am I willing to become, without reward and validation from others? Am I willing to divorce myself of ego and define myself by actions more closely aligned with what I want others to experience? Am I willing to LIVE TRUE?
These are the tough questions of self awareness and a weapon against the reactivity of a stagnant existence.
For each of us…IT’S TIME TO ACT. It is time to be creative in our design and clear in our objectives.
Remember that growth is always a choice.
Until next week my friends, make it a great one, and remember to always...HONOR.THE.GIFT.
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